Weight loss support with a spiritual element. I will keep you posted on my journey in the hopes that you will join me in becoming the person God wants you to be. Don't worry about being religious. Come as you are.

Monday, March 31, 2014

Can You Do This?

Throw out food.

My post about abstinence/temperance got me thinking about the situation where we have eaten a substantial amount of brownies and then feel like we should finish off the pan before anyone finds out we made them in the first place. Why isn't one of the choices to throw out the rest (after drizzling them with dish soap if necessary)? When did food become such an idol that we feel like we must eat it rather than throw it away? I get a tight feeling in my chest at the thought of throwing out food :-)

I have poured a bottle of wine down the sink because I knew if I didn't I would drink it all. I have told the story before about the Christmas candy, cookies, etc., I got at school one year. I stopped on the way home and threw it all in a trash can on Main Street. It never made it home. Sometimes it is easier to do things like this than it is at other times.

I haven't had young children around much for a while. My two nieces (Hailie - 10 and Madison - 3) have been staying all night on Monday nights because Madison goes to Bible Study Fellowship with me on Tuesday mornings. I have caught myself cleaning up their plates if they don't eat everything. Bad idea.

Are we really concerned about tossing out a few bites of food or do we just fool ourselves that those few bites don't count or that it's like wasting money if we buy food and then throw some of it out? Isn't it also wasting food if we eat it only to have it stored as fat?

It's another game - we get to eat something and it shows we are frugal and don't waste any food if we eat it rather than throw it out. It's a public service really. Being thrifty trumps being healthy.

How easy is it for you to throw out food? Do you have any strategies concerning this?

Friday, March 28, 2014

Abstinence or Temperance?

"Abstinence is as easy for you as temperance is difficult for me."  -unknown

I read this in a magazine while waiting for my doctor's appointment where I had the EKG - was diagnosed with A-fib and you know the rest of the story.

Sometimes abstinence is easier because there is no choice to be made. With temperance there is a choice.

There is a pan of brownies in the kitchen. What idiot made those? :-)

If we have made the lifestyle change of "I don't eat sugar" then it is much easier to stay out of them.

If we start with "should I or should I not" we might as well go ahead and dive in. We can also play the mind game of we will just have one (or two) and then of course we have to straighten up the edges (those bites don't count). We then might just have to eat the whole pan in order to hide it from the family that we ate several of them. We had good intentions of temperance at the outset but that was just a game we play to eat some brownies.

We don't have this trouble with the bowl of fruit in the middle of the table (you know - where the brownies used to be). We don't have trouble with the fresh vegetables. How many times have we felt like we had to finish off a bowl of salad before anybody found out?

Having no choice (abstinence) is the way to go don't you think?

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Are We Fat Rats or Slim Rats?

So what? This is my answer to articles such as this.

We still have to play the hand we are dealt. I could see myself in the past reading something like this and thinking, "Aha!"  Just what I thought. It's not my fault after all. I guess these studies serve some purpose but I am still on the side of personal responsibility and accountability. We can use this information however we choose - to validate whichever "rat" we are. I remember reading an observation made by some people watching children during recess. The slimmer students moved more during recess while eating about the same amount as the overweight students. Duh.

We are getting to the bottom of my issues with blood pressure and thyroid. I went to the doctor not too long ago and was given hydrochlorothiazide - a diuretic. Well, I swelled up, had leg cramps at night, racing heart, and was very weak - couldn't keep up at my exercise classes and didn't even feel like going. I stopped taking it. I told the doctor and they said to get right in there. He tried to tell me since hydro-- was a diuretic that wasn't the cause of all this - my skin was really tight on my feet and ankles from the swelling. I told him that was the only thing that had changed. So I was given another BP med. The lower number on my BP reading was around 100 most of the time. My heart rate was so high (156 last Saturday) that I had double vision for a time. My heart rate was consistently over 100 all weekend. I was dangerously close to a stroke.

Yesterday I went back to the doctor and he did an EKG and discovered I was in atrial fibrillation. I was kind of relieved to find out what the problem was so we knew what to treat. I am now on yet another BP med. to slow my heart rate and the generic of Coumadin (blood thinner) to protect me from a stroke. Hopefully this will get my heart back in rhythm or we have to have a cardiologist do something. I may have to go back to work after all. I go back Monday for a Pro-Time check (did I get that spelled correctly?) and will go back to the doctor in a month for a follow-up.

I read up on a-fib and found on the list of causes high blood pressure and thyroid issues - that's me.

I haven't been blogging because all this has caused a weight gain - I lost 8 lb. within just a few days between doctor visits - which means I gained that and more. I also haven't had much energy. This weight thing really messes with my head. Even if we know the reason for the gain it is disturbing. At the beginning of the year I was so excited and was going to get to goal weight. I am going to have to get this heart thing resolved before that can happen.

Hope all of you are well.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Taking A Break

I am going to be on hiatus for a time. Be back one of these days! Take care.

Monday, March 17, 2014


I am going to try to get to the Hatha Yoga class that's offered at the Family Fitness Works  gym where I have a membership. It's kind of at a bad time but if I make the effort I'll get there. It's like anything else - if I want to take the class badly enough I will figure something out. I really need to work on my balance.

Where there's a will there's a way.

Eating right and getting in the exercise is a matter of the will not the emotions.

There is also a kettle bell class I want to try.

Sometimes we just have to march ourselves in there don't we?

Thursday, March 13, 2014

7 Things

I couldn't say it any better than this.


There's a faulty pronoun reference here. It's the retired teacher in me. I notice these things.

My doctor prescribed an additional BP Medication at my last visit. I am going to stop taking it due to the side effects. It is hydroclorthiazide (sp?) It's technically a BP medicine but has diuretic effects. My feet and ankles were really swollen two nights in a row. I lost 6 lb. from one morning to the next. I haven't been able to keep up in my exercise classes. I went to the gym intending to go to a body pump class but felt bad and just went back home. I was helping my son in the yard taking small branches back to a pile for chipping and could hardly make it up the small incline back to the house. I have been having leg cramps at night. I already take cardura for BP and it took a long time to find a BP medication that didn't have awful side effects.

I am going to try Body Pump again on Thursday morning. Hopefully I will feel like doing it. I sure won't be taking that little pill.

Remember if we blame somebody else we eliminate our ability to change. 

Hope all of you are well.

Monday, March 10, 2014

What's Working Now

Routine. Schedule. I cannot wait for a stomach growl to eat, then eat what I want, stop when comfortably full, then wait for the next growl. It works. Others have done it. I cannot.

Having my thyroid issue as a backup explanation for what I weigh has been counterproductive. I do think it contributes and it has been pretty discouraging for me lately. I think an overactive thyroid (Grave's Disease) can help with weight loss but I also thinks it makes a person hungrier due to the thyroid running hot.

I was thinking about my anxiety when I start getting hungry and how hard it is to wait. I thought about how I have fasted for 24 hours - I had decided ahead of time that this was what I was going to do and there was no anxiety and the wringing of the hands over eating so there was not the screaming hunger. I decided I was going to start eating at 6 a.m., noon, and 6 p.m. I have decided ahead of time this is my routine, my schedule. I have been doing well and losing weight. There hasn't been the anxiety that there is while I try to wait for a stomach growl. It's weird though. My stomach has growled and I have waited for my schedule time to eat a meal without the anxiety. Anybody got an explanation for that one? I do eat what is good and what I like but these days it's what is also the right thing to eat. I eat until I am full. I do like to feel full when I am done with a meal so I include things that will make that happen. When I was on Weight Watchers I would eat the meal I had planned but then would still be hungry. I have also never been good at leaving food on my plate. I would rather use a smaller plate that looks full and then eat all of it.

I also think one of the problems I create is buying too much food ahead of time. Even though it is good food I feel like it needs to be eaten before it must be thrown out. I wonder how much produce I have thrown out in my lifetime? I'll get too much cooked ahead of time and there it is in the refrigerator ready to go bad if I don't eat. it. I just like to buy food. This is an issue I need to evaluate and deal with.

Can I get an "Amen"?

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Got Milk?

This article answered my questions about dairy. It also addresses the Food Pyramid. I have read in other places that dairy products create a phlegm-like substance in the bowels which this doctor doesn't mention. I have also read that humans are the only ones who continue to drink mother's milk after infancy - and then we drink cow's milk (which is for calves).  I recommend you read this and consider your dairy intake.

I am more for moderation. I just gave up cream in my coffee and am getting used to drinking it black. I can do it. My half/half was very low carb but high fat so it needed to go anyway. I don't eat cereal so that eliminates that milk. I don't drink milk with meals. My dairy is from infrequent cheese and my Greek yogurt. I am not going to give up my Greek yogurt. It is my dessert. I get some of my home made Greek yogurt and add some All Fruit topping which is low in carbs and some stevia and it is like ice cream. As soon as this jar of the topping is gone I am going to add fresh fruit and stevia to the Greek yogurt. I put up the recipe for it a while back. I did work with a person who said she drank milk to quench thirst.

I know the Paleo Plan does not include milk. I consider myself low-carb with Paleo leanings. 

Will your dairy intake change as a result of this information?

Thursday, March 6, 2014

My Niece Just Posted This

Seven Deadly Sins saga #1

Reveling in saccharin and salt-infested veins, I feel these chemicals embarking on a slow death march beneath my skin. I feel the greasiness upon my palms, as I take each overindulgent bite, telling myself that I’m not really doing any harm and can change as soon as I am ready to. I feel the enlarged pores upon my face each time I look in the mirror, attributing it to everything but the food I have so willingly gorged myself upon. I feel shamed by the way my clothing has betrayed me, painfully reflecting my choices in the form of unsightly bulges and too-tight waistbands.

But most of all, I feel disgust.

In my mind, I am that 12 year old girl once more, stuffing her face as a consolation for the disarray of emotions that tormented her. Food didn’t hurt my feelings and call me names. Food never taunted me on the playground with chants of “fatty fatty two by four” or picked me last for the team in gym class. Food never turned it’s back on me, shunning me when the popular kids came around, looking for an easy target for their mockery.

That 12 year old girl only grew older, still using food as a crutch for the hurt and dejection she felt. The men who used her for meaningless sex, the family and friends who didn’t understand her struggles, and the passionate longing to be anything but what she truly was.

But I was so much more than that.

I AM so much more than that.

I rose from the ashes of my former self. I, for the first time in my life, had broken the chains that bound me, holding me desperately in the throes of low self-esteem. I had been victorious, taking 64 pounds of angst from my body and throwing it in the face of the demon that had taunted me for so many years.

But yet, here we are once more. He is wrapping his arms around me lovingly, and making me think that I am not worthy of such success. Enveloping me in a depression, eating to sate my troubled emotions, and find myself tired, lacking vigor, and apathetic about all the things that used to mean so much to me. That the thinning hair and hormonal changes are somehow punishments for such hard and dedication, and only he knows the path back to true happiness. That I am weak and can’t fight these struggles on my own. That I have lost myself, a mere shadow of the person that I used to be, but he is only here to help me.

That I will blame anything but him for the pain that I feel.

We are locked in a battle of wills, and I can’t seem to find my way to the light.


Lying in a torrential, unrelenting downpour of filth upon my body no match for the filth that I have heinously put within it.

My niece Amy and I share this battle. She loves to write. I know some of you will identify with this as well.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

If At First You Don't Succeed

I have always thought this was funny:

If at first you don't succeed, to hell with it.

It is a sad  comment on how many give up so easily when there is difficulty mastering something. "I tried that once and it didn't work".

Maybe "it" would have worked had we persevered.

I have said several times that we learn the most when we fail at something. I will relate that to my quilting. I have had to rip out several seams over the years and it always taught me to either be more careful, pay attention to what I was doing, or read/follow the directions. My husband finished concrete. He said once that you learn the most when you have to tear out a slab of concrete.

When we fail at losing weight why is that the first step to doing it again?

The wheel is turning but the hamster is dead.
The elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
The lights are on but nobody's home.
Few bricks shy of a load.
Few fries short of a happy meal.
Not playing with a full deck.
Only has one oar in the water.

We don't fail until we give up. It's a no brainer. I am one of the worst offenders when it comes to repeating past mistakes when it comes to eating and drinking and spending. However, even if I do say "to hell with it" I always come back for anther run at it.

How about you?

Monday, March 3, 2014

What is a Miracle Anyway?

You cannot expect miracles to happen overnight. Be patient, be loving, and little by little the change you seek will come.

Jesus told many who came to him and were healed that it was their faith that had healed them. That's the faith I want.

As the first line states, all miracles are not some blast and an instantaneous and miraculous change occurs. Maybe we have a little too high of a minimum for what a miracle is. I've read about the miracle that is the human eye. A baby is a miracle. Two people can create another person who can see, hear, and love. I heard an interesting question somewhere - can't remember where. The question was if science can explain all of this why do we die? I just read in our national geographic that native Americans attribute the beginning of life to lightening. The hand of God has often moved through nature.

Sometimes the miracle is something that didn't happen. It's a miracle I am not diabetic. It's through no fault of my own. Remember the risky things we have done during our younger years? What were we thinking? Some of you may have some miracles you would share?

I have related the story before about one of our English teachers at Eastern Hancock who had lost his leg in the Korean War. He was near death and his Church had set up a 24-hour prayer chain. He told me Jesus came to take him over and he asked if he could stay to raise his family. He lived and has a prosthetic leg. 

What's your miracle?