Weight loss support with a spiritual element. I will keep you posted on my journey in the hopes that you will join me in becoming the person God wants you to be. Don't worry about being religious. Come as you are.

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The Learning Curve

From C. S. Lewis:

"We learn, on the one hand, that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments, and, on the other, that we need not despair even in our worst, for our failures are forgiven. The only fatal thing is to sit down content with anything less than perfection."

We have said it many times - "nobody's perfect".

Have you ever been lulled into a false sense of security because you have been on top of your game, staying on the plan, exercising, eating right, and all that? Have you ever been harsh with someone in blogland who is struggling? Have you ever looked at someone who is obese and thought unkind things? I have.

Have you also noticed that it's not too long before you slip up and do exactly what you have been critical of others for doing? I have done this as well. Keeps us humble doesn't it?

This also shows that we are not as settled in our lifestyle changes, our good habits, our overwhelmingly awesome and amazing self as we thought we were. Unicorn rides for everyone. We made the assumption that all of that was behind us, no more unwise eating for us, right?

We do need to remember that we cannot trust ourselves even in our best moments.

How can our failures be forgiven? Who needs to do the forgiving anyway? C. S. Lewis is a Christian apologist. I had trouble with the word "apologist" for a long time. It reminds be of the word "apology" which to me meant saying one is sorry. C. S. Lewis was an atheist but another author and apologist, J. R. R. Tolkein, brought him to Christ. An apologist makes very logical arguments for what he/she believes. Ravi Zacharias is another good apologist. They are not sorry they are Christians; they argue for their beliefs - this is what an apologist does. Do some research for your own understanding.

If we are truly sorry for something we have done; if we regret our behavior and understand the consequences, wouldn't one think we would stop this behavior? A sincere remorse, a true regret, an honestly contrite heart will change or forgiveness is futile and becomes an enabling mechanism. Why would we keep binge food in the house? Why would our trigger foods be around? Do we forgive ourselves for the binge and then go out and buy more junk food because it's for the kids? It's not for the kids; it's for us. If the spouse goes ahead and buys that stuff anyway, that presents another problem but not an insurmountable one. At least we can refuse to buy it ourselves.

There is this psychological mechanism that associates forgiveness as making something as though it never happened; therefore we don't have to learn from it or change our behavior because of it. Do any of us forgive those whom we know are just going to do the same thing again? Don't we stop loaning money to people who have not paid us back in the past for borrowed money? Don't we stop loaning people our possessions if they don't return them?

We don't really forgive ourselves and change our behavior because we really don't think it won't happen again.

Let's become apologists and argue for health - especially to ourselves.

It is true that nobody is perfect but wouldn't it be better to strive for perfection each day and fall short than to accept the binge as occasional proof we aren't perfect and skip our exercising because everybody does that and succeed?

Be careful out there today.


  1. Hi Myra! Well, I always try to be upbeat to others, but perhaps I do this. I'm not sure. I always offer a solution if a person suggest that they don't know what happened, because it's usually apparent to me. People say I'm "tough love," but they seem to still like me. One thing I don't want to do is be an enabler. If a person says something that is self-destructive, I'm not going to agree with that, no matter if it seems nice or not. I see too many bloggers who say something destructive, and all of the commenters think they are being nice by agreeing. :D

    1. I have read many of your comments and think you are very compassionate without being an enabler. It's a balancing act when you want to encourage but don't want the person to get the idea that nothing is wrong. I can think of one blogger that I have really been tempted to say things that would be misinterpreted as harsh but she doesn't seem to be serious at all to me. She weighs well over 300 lb. and describes her repeated failures like they are escapades of some sort. It's her choice to do these things and I feel like if people blog they want feedback but how "in your face" should we be? I miss Al and Norma very much but their style brought much hate speak because they didn't sugar coat anything. Period. They did, however, want to support those who were serious and even when those people slipped up would still be there for them. They have both gone private so I don't get to read them anymore. Neither one of them could abide those who are immature and just act like they want to lose weight. Sometimes I have been like that. I think we all have so it's a real dilemma when we choose our words. Be careful out there today.

  2. There is someone out there who thinks he is perfect.