Weight loss support with a spiritual element. I will keep you posted on my journey in the hopes that you will join me in becoming the person God wants you to be. Don't worry about being religious. Come as you are.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Working On My Heart

I went to a funeral today and I am always struck at how people remember the deceased. I know I am no better and all sin is the same before God.

People remembered this person differently from the impression I had of him. He could turn the air blue with his swearing. He was very wealthy and had two daughters who didn't speak to him or visit him or send him cards on Father's Day or anything of the sort. He used to give them thousands of dollars at a time and when they kept coming back for more and more and more; he finally ended it. They stopped speaking. They just now started coming back around when he got sick. He was 91 and a bowel blockage took his life. The daughters and the son were not at the casket receiving people when I walked in. I saw no tears.

If the relationship isn't built when the children are young, it is nearly impossible to do so later. He owned a business and was occupied with getting rich (he gave $100,000 to the hospital one year). He had to have been a hard worker and very conscientious to build his casket company like he did. My aunt, who was his long-time companion, said once that he would never live long enough to spend his money. She is the executrix of his will and it has been a nightmare dealing with his daughters.

One man spoke and related stories from various people in the family about him. There was nothing really too personal. This friend of his said he was non-confrontational; I thought he could be quite belligerent. He did provide a house for my aunt's grandson. Maybe he was too generous. He loved to play gin rummy and had my Mom and Dad over often to play it. He was a good host when we were there. I wonder why some people  are better with those outside their family than they are with their own wives and children?

How much can we tell about a person at that person's funeral? There really weren't too many people there.

A friend's brother died in a motorcycle accident while drunk. He used drugs. When she spoke at his funeral she pointed above to indicate where he was now. It's not my call; I know that.

I hope I am living in such a way that people will mourn my death and miss me for personal reasons. I hope I am remembered for being a good example and a good influence - it sure won't be for how much money they are going to get.

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I Should Just Eat At Home

Al has been on a tear lately. There are weight loss bloggers and then there are the rest who pose as weight loss bloggers. He is absolutely right and doesn't concern himself with tact unless you like bulldozers.

He said something a few posts ago that got me thinking. He said in so many words that these train wrecks and Amtracks, etc., won't profit from losing weight. They will lose followers. I have caught myself losing interest in the blogs of people who have lost their weight and have maintained it. These are the people I should be looking to copy. There is no drama I guess. I guess it seems kind of boring if one isn't struggling or repenting or starting over or something. I guess that's the allure of soap operas.

We ate out with some friends tonight. I ordered halibut fillets but neglected to say baked halibut fillets and got deep fried ones. Oh well. The choices for sides only had a tossed salad that interested me so since the meal came with two sides I ordered two salads. I asked if they had sweet potatoes and if they did to replace one of the side salads with the sweet potato. I got this dish of mush covered with a syrupy brown sugar goop. Oh well. I gave that to my husband. I also gave him my dinner roll. The decaf coffee looked like tea. Needless to say I won't be going back there to eat.

Monday after aerobics there was this morbidly obese woman in the dressing room. She was in a swim suit and as she walked away from me toward the shower I couldn't help but stare that her legs rubbed back and forth over each other down to her knees as she rolled more than walked toward the shower. Her arms would not lay flat against her sides but made an "A" shape and she had to swing them to get some momentum to move forward. I felt sorry for her while at the same time thanking God for my success. I have to give her credit for being there and trying to get some exercise. People like that almost have to get in the water so the water will help take the pressure off of their joints. I can only hope that she is determined to get healthy because she has a long way to go.

We can fool some of the people some of the time but we can't fool all the people all of the time. The people Al has been blogging about do have a lot of people fooled just by looking at their followers. I understand the groupie thing but some of those followers need a life.

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Changing Price Tags

This is usually associated with shoplifting but as I read this in one of my daily readings I started thinking about how many of us want to apply this to losing weight. We want something for nothing; we want it to be easy. It has taken me a long, long time to accept the necessary lifestyle change. We cannot steal our goal weight. We cannot steal health. There is a cost we must be willing to pay.

I weighed 175 the last time I weighed - another half pound. Slow and steady works for me at this point. I have noticed that even when I eat outside the boundaries of hunger and fullness that I choose things like almonds and a square of dark chocolate or a hard boiled egg or an apple. In the past if I knew eating outside those boundaries was coming I would adopt the mindset that I might as well go ahead and have cookies for example because I had already decided it was going to be another fail. If I do engage in mindless eating which I rarely do I eat one of the things I mentioned above (not the cookies). There are no cookies in the house now. Last night was the spring dinner for Historic Centerville. The menu was fried chicken, green beans, mashed potatoes with gravy, dinner rolls, with cake for dessert. There were cheese balls and crackers for the appetizer. I had a double serving of green beans and a piece of chicken. That's all. I didn't act like a martyr. No one commented on what I ate. It's all good.

I also noticed the other day that I went to my morning aerobics class and hadn't eaten anything because I had eaten almonds late the night before and wasn't hungry. In the past I would have been in a panic because everybody knows that I could have fallen flat on my face from lack of food.  I used to eat so I wouldn't get hungry. For example, if it's going to be a long time before the next chance to eat I would go ahead and eat because who knows what could befall me if I had a growling stomach. I would have eaten before going to aerobics in the past because I needed my strength and all that. A growling stomach does not bother me like it used to for which I am very thankful.

I have had to give up the step and just stay on the floor because with this thyroid thing if I get too hot I don't cool down very well and then my heart starts beating too fast and then I am tired. The thyroid medication seems to make me somewhat less energetic as well.

Are you still trying to change the price tag or are you willing to pay the price for the item you want?

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Give This Up!

I haven't been posting but have been reading blogs a bit. Crazy work. Yard. Garden. Exercise. The internet has become a time sucker for me so I have been absent. This is interesting reading however.

Give This Up!

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Mud and Vomit

Proverbs 26:11 - As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.

2 Peter 2:22 - They prove the truth of this proverb:  "A dog returns to its vomit."  And another says, "A washed pig returns to the mud."

When I return to unhealthy behaviors and unhealthy eating I am like the dog that returns to its vomit. Have you ever seen that? Doesn't it make your stomach do a flip and cause the gag reflex to kick in and your eyes start to water? I have been thinking about this a lot because as disgusting as the mental picture is, it is a very accurate description of what we do when we aren't thinking. Think about that binge food as vomit.

We clean ourselves up, buy all the right food, and get some new workout clothes because this time it's for real. We forget that getting OUT of the mud and washing up won't keep us there without getting the mud in perspective. Why do we feel so comfortable in the mud? Does a fish know it is in the water? It's right at home. It knows what to do and how it feels.

Let's not be fools or pigs.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Long Day

I put in 13.5 hours today - after the route there was an e-cash (taking money to an empty or near empty machine), a service call, and a meet with a technician to fix an ATM. I keep thinking of having the end of this year off because I have told them when I reach the limit for Social Security ($15,120) I am quitting and they can re-hire me in January if they want. Last year I went over so much that I did not get checks in November and December and we still owed over $2,000 - that won't happen again. We are already almost half way there.

A family member is in the hospital on her death bed. Her kidneys are failing. It is truly death by knife and fork. I told you about her a few months ago. She is morbidly obese. She needs an oxygen tank and has to drag it with her wherever she goes. At a birthday party when she had to walk up a small incline to get to the house she had to lean against the wall and catch her breath. At one family gathering her husband put out a pie to share and said there had been two but she had eaten one of them. I have always felt sorry for him because her most challenging activity was working a puzzle book. He mentioned how he would love for her to do things with him but she just sat, and sat, and sat. Now she is spending her last hours in the hospital when it could have all been avoided.

People - we must quit thinking "it won't be today" and get this weight off and lead healthier lives. Libby is going to die younger than she should and it's her own fault.

Monday, April 1, 2013

Just A Bit Of Information

As you can see at the right, I have lost 1 lb. in 2 months - hopefully none of my followers will enable such behavior so I will :-) While losing a pound in two months will not be confused with "leaning into it" there can be something positive here (besides "at least you didn't gain", or "a loss is a loss"). We could call that maintaining which is a little premature but in two months how much damage could you have done? I don't even want to think about it. I have posted several times about a lifestyle change and something had to have changed for me to go two months without completely going off the rails. I still watch the carbs closely and don't eat sugar, drink the water for the most part, and exercise. My goal weight is 157 lb. so I have a little less than 20 lb. to go.

I have Grave's Disease. I started my anti-thyroid prescription today. I have an ultrasound on May 22. The endocrinologist said cancer is unlikely. My doctor was going to wait until after the ultrasound to start me on the medication but I went to aerobics after missing a few weeks because of work and I went back last week. I didn't cool off for the rest of the day. My heart was beating hard and fast and it made me tired for a couple of days. A friend of mine whose heart has done that told me her doctor said when the heart beats like that it is like you are running and that explains the tiredness. Right now I am sweaty for no reason. I asked my doctor if we could start the medication now and he agreed. I have to take it three times a day so I am going to have to work real hard at not forgetting that one in the middle of the day.

Here is a thought I wanted to share with you from my OA daily readings:

The only way to predict the future is to have the power to shape the future.    -Eric Hoffer

In the days when I was a practicing compulsive overeater, I could not predict my behavior. I went through life a sliver, slice, and slab at a time, thinking This time I will control it. But it is not controllable, not predictable. That is the disease of compulsive overeating. Powerless to carry out my good intentions to eat only certain amounts, I found myself unable to manage other aspects of my life as well.

Though I have come a long way, I am not cured. I have a daily reprieve that, by enabling me to abstain today, restores to me the power to become the person I want to be.

I like the "daily reprieve" concept. Each day can be a reprieve from out of control eating.

Do you and I have the power to shape our future of eating, exercising, and hydrating? Of course we do. We can then predict our futures because we DO have the power to shape it.

I appreciate those who have asked where I have been and telling me they missed reading what I write. I have been a little burned out I guess. I really like the blogs of people who describe their workouts and what they eat but it just isn't me. I am more concerned with the emotional part of this. If you and I can get our emotions under control and learn to be proactive success awaits.

We do have the power to shape the future.