Weight loss support with a spiritual element. I will keep you posted on my journey in the hopes that you will join me in becoming the person God wants you to be. Don't worry about being religious. Come as you are.




Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Assumptions

What assumptions do we make when we see an obese person? Are our assumptions different if we are obese as well or are they different if we are now in control and either at maintenance or very close to it? Being honest here, I think mine are.

Now that I am in control for the moment I tend to have harsher assumptions than I did when I was still obese. When I was obese I can't remember really noticing too much the obesity of others. Now that I have lost a substantial amount I have noticed that I can be less tolerant of the obese even though I have been there for a good portion of my life.

Why is that? Do I think I insulate myself from ever being obese again if I disdain those who seem at first glance not to even be trying in my judgmental brain?

This topic popped into my brain as I answered Yellow Rose/Jasmine's comment from my last post.

I can think of one blogger who isn't around anymore who gave me the impression that she was trying to be hard core and really come down on those she felt like were not up to her high standards. I did read a comment she made on a blog that she had regained weight and was feeling somewhat humbled by it. She should feel humbled because I thought she was rude. I think it's OK to point out behaviors, we do put ourselves out there for everyone to notice, but she was hateful about it in my opinion.We don't have to make assumptions when it comes to some bloggers; they tell us what they do, don't do, shouldn't do, wish they hadn't done. Some take this very serious matter pretty lightly. There is a difference between struggling and insincerity that is pretty easy to determine.

Anyway - back to my point. One blogger I really admire shared the sexual abuse she endured as a child. Another shared how her mother had yelled in her face that she wished she had aborted her. The rejection I lived with as a child didn't seem to compare when I read those stories.

Appearances don't give us the whole story. Actions do tell those who read us if we are headed in the right direction.

Have you noticed your tolerance for the obese has changed as you have gotten closer to your own weight loss and health goals? Is it because now that we have done it we know it can be done and we assume others should be getting it together as well?

Today is Bible Study Fellowship. I am going to a friend's house to make a hypertufa project. Tonight is body sculpt and the elliptical.

I will be gone on a Quilt Retreat from Thursday through Sunday so won't be blogging again until Monday and I won't be reporting my weight until Monday. I will be watching closely eating behaviors and how many are obese (quilting is a sedentary activity) and how many are of normal weight. With that many women together conversation is bound to be about dieting/eating/etc. so I will have a report I am sure. We are supposed to take a snack to share. I am not going to as I don't intend to snack. I will have some of my Quest Nutrition Bars and some roasted almonds as a back-up in case all these buffets fall a little short of things for me but I imagine there will be vegetables, fruit, and meat so I should be OK. The goal is to come back with no weight to re-lose.

Talk to you in a few---


2 comments:

  1. I would say that for the ten years I was obese as opposed to just overweight, my eye on other obese people was mostly for comparison -- "Am I that big?" "Is that person fatter than I am?" "At least I don't dress like that," etc...and at "only" 200-215 lbs I saw a LOT of women much larger than I was so I was able to tell myself I wasn't "that" fat and I looked just fine. Telling myself that I *felt* just fine was a much harder lie to swallow but a half a loaf of bread with butter and strawberry jam usually helped there.

    After significant loss and long-term maintenance and having gained that 20/20 hindsight, now I see all my lies, rationalizations, excuses for what they were, as well seeing the root causes of my eating issues and unhealthy lifestyle as the crux of the matter. I now assume (correctly or not) that most obese people use these same lies/excuses/rationales and have not yet recognized the real reasons behind their overeating. Rarely, if ever, does someone get to morbidly obese simply by really liking food and not making time to exercise; in my opinion there is always something deeper going on than "I can't resist dessert" and "I work long hours and have kids" - it's not about the food. But you already know this. :)

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    1. So true. When I would go back to WW for the how manyeth time I would always look around and think, "At least I am not that big." We also see entire families who are obese and that makes it hard to think it's emotional at its base for that. Binge eating being such a common problem has to be emotional in its cause. What gets us to obese is different from what keeps us there. Take care.

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