Weight loss support with a spiritual element. I will keep you posted on my journey in the hopes that you will join me in becoming the person God wants you to be. Don't worry about being religious. Come as you are.




Thursday, August 9, 2012

Fat Athletes

http://blisstree.com/look/olympic-weightlifter-holley-mangold-says-get-over-her-fat-738/

I heard on the news how female athletes have been criticized this year for various things but especially for being fat. Some are fighting back. I say good for them.

Many bloggers have been criticized in this forum for being less than stellar with weight loss efforts. Many have trouble with what they view as hypocrisy. It is hypocritical to say one thing and do another. Taking up the effort to get the weight off is not a smooth road without potholes that we must maneuver through however.

On the one hand I think some tough love is in order. Some are obviously out to make friends and get lots of followers who help them feel OK about doing really stupid things if one has made the claim of wanting to lose weight. Then there are those who really struggle and repeat the same mistakes. They still want to lose weight but haven't been able to avoid derailing. They feel like they are giving their best effort. I think at that moment maybe it was their best effort.

There is a difference between emotional struggles and immaturity when it comes to weight loss. Immaturity in someone who is an adult and has been for quite some time can be infuriating. I just don't follow those people after a time. When faced with a challenge they just go ahead and have fun, eat all they want, and then blog about being OK with it; they are not going to beat themselves up for it, tomorrow is another day, they are more than a number, you know. They have slogans all ready to go. These aren't solutions however.

I understand emotional struggles however. I did binge for years and if I had been blogging at that time I would have received the white hot jabs from others who could not abide this in someone who was blogging about losing weight. I would also have been enabled by those who were doing the same thing.  It's difficult to determine how to comment at times don't you think? Someone who is already depressed over yet another binge doesn't need to read about what a failure they are from another person. This doesn't help. They already feel bad enough.

How do you determine who is serious but struggling? Do you leave them comments or not? How do you word those comments?

10 comments:

  1. I struggle with calling someone like Holley Mangold an "athlete," as at her size (352 lbs, 5'8") I can't imagine she has much in the way of cardiovascular endurance or flexibility. To me, she is a morbidly obese young woman who happens to have the ability to perform a few very specific, very impressive weightlifting feats. One skill does not an athlete make.

    As for determining who's serious...if they're often blogging about how they daydream about food and whining that their skinny friend eats anything she wants and doesn't gain an ounce! And every day there's a litany of reasons they just couldn't exercise or "had to" eat something they know isn't a good idea....I don't comment anymore. Used to, in what I think was an honest, but not unkind, way...and then their toadies jump on me like a hive of drones protecting their Queen bee. On the other hand, if someone is serious but struggling, they're usually really at a loss as to what to do differently (they don't know what habits to change, or how to change them) and I offer the same kind of comment, I am usually thanked and validated by the blogger/other readers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You do this very well I think. Some are ready to hear it; some need to hear it; and others don't want to hear it. I think if we are being successful we can't imagine why others evidently don't want the same thing and I feel compelled to let them know how to do it. I have offended others at times because I was a little too full of myself and forgot what a struggle it was at times. Once we have arrived, we need to remember how it was for us back then and be empathetic without enabling. It's hard. Take care.

      Delete
  2. I rarely comment on blogs where the writer is describing an out of control binge. I just don't think I could add anything helpful for that particular individual. I think if you falter and you can admit what you did was not in your best interest and move on from there, you are serious but struggling. Those who glorify binges because even though they ate a huge banana split sundae but still managed to lose .5 pounds and continue to repeat the behaviour don't strike me as being ready to lose weight. You're either in or your out!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that is a good approach - just don't comment at all in some cases. I do read of people who are so happy they lost a little bit of weight in spite of eating 1/2 a pizza. What's wrong with that picture? Take care.

      Delete
    2. That's great, Leigh! "You are either in or you're out!" Love that comment! So true.

      Delete
  3. It is hard to gauge just what to do in this situation of someone being honest and yet not wanting to contribute to their downfall. I just try to be honest and not too hard on people and then if someone keeps repeating the same unproductive stuff, well...I'm outta' there. Now that I don't participate so much in enabling behavior irl, I just don't tend to do it anywhere- not even in the blogosphere. Like the feelings we get with losing the weight and not being able to imagine why anyone wouldn't want to feel better, the enabling behavior goes the same way, only much stronger for me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Our different personalities contribute to how we view and comment concerning other bloggers. We should all be able to blog without ridicule but giving constructive criticism is another matter. If someone is putting him or herself out there on a blog that tells the rest of us they are seeking some kind of input. I think we should do it in the spirit of helping and their reaction should also reflect a mature acceptance of what was written in the comment. Respect is very important in this matter. Take care.

      Delete
  4. I personally can't read blogs where people are off the food wagon for extended periods of time. It's really quite selfish of me...reading about someone else's binges and what they ate makes me want to do the same. I start to think, "So & So is eating like garbage and I weigh less and workout more, so I can eat junk tonight, too." Those are not productive thoughts for me to have.

    But if someone is struggling & not laying on the excuses, I will 100% support them. It took me a long time to get my binging under control...I know how lost and out of control you can feel at times. Trying to find the balances of helping & but not enabling is often difficult when you are leaving a comment for somene, ya know?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't ever feel like you are being selfish if you are protecting yourself from doing something unwise. We each have to be ever aware of what triggers us and be proactive about dealing with these triggers. You would not have your binge eating under control if you had not found effective ways to do so. If I want to say something but can't find the right words, I sometimes identify myself as doing the same thing and what I did to overcome it. The ball is then in their court to listen or not. Be careful out there today.

      Delete
    2. Thank you :) And that is a good response.

      Delete