Nanette and I were talking about expectations over one of my earlier posts about the obese guy with the long hair who wowed them on American Idol as did Susan Boyles. Since her career is in this area she noticed the shortcomings of both performances. I thought they were great but then I know nothing about this.
When Susan and this young man stood on the stage before their performances you see Simon Cowles and the audience doing the eye rolling thing because before these two did anything, the expectation was for a poor showing. They both were very good but were the ratings given a bump because the reality was so much more than the expectation based on appearance and nothing else? Expectations were low. The reality was impressive. There was quite a distance between the two.
Do we rely on low expectations to hold back from what we are capable of achieving? Would our reality be much richer if our expectations were better? Do others expect less from us because of our appearance? Do we count on that? The young man said he wouldn't even be on the stage were it not for the girl who was singing with him. His expectations of himself were low. She knew of his talent. She knew him. Size didn't matter. I have resented being judged by my appearance but then I judge by appearance as well and I am not proud of that.
You are the job interviewer and in walks an obese job applicant and a normal weight job applicant. Does the normal weight one get appearance points? Probably. What are the preconceived notions about the obese? It's hard to admit but sometimes they are true. Would we look like this if our self-esteem was good? On the other hand, so many of us had childhoods and other experiences that would make people wonder why we aren't more messed up than we are. How long is it going to take for us to sort it out? I read of people who get to a certain weight and then something snaps and they are gaining weight and can't understand it; they were doing so well. They have to fight so hard to overcome it. I know that helpless feeling. We are driven to do unhealthy things knowing it must stop but not being able to get the best of it. It takes years of battle to finally win. The recovery can be very fragile but it can be done.
Our reality and our expectations of ourselves can be the same. They really can.