Weight loss support with a spiritual element. I will keep you posted on my journey in the hopes that you will join me in becoming the person God wants you to be. Don't worry about being religious. Come as you are.




Monday, February 27, 2012

Excuses, Excuses

"If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place."
~ Nora Roberts   from jensgyrations.blogspot.com


As I stroll around blogland and read and comment I notice how "confession is good for the soul" is put into practice. Some get pretty specific about their transgressions almost like they are enjoying it all over again. It reminds me of the joke about the old lady who storms into the police station and announces, "I was raped!" The police immediately want the details and she says, "I wasn't raped, I just want to talk about it." 


There is the underlying current that if it's out in the open, it's OK. There are often the statements of "no more", "starting over", "I'm OK with it", "not going to beat myself up over it", "at least I didn't gain", "a loss is a loss", etc. I had a earlier post about Slogan/Solution that also addressed this. 


This can be a habit and a part of a cycle. Each of us has to answer that one for ourselves. A cycle often has to bottom out before there is upward progress again. During the upward progress part of the cycle we are doing everything right and the weight is coming off and life is good. But this doesn't fit our self-image - all this success so in the back of our minds is the thought, "this is about all of this I want to do" - we get into the false illusion that we are in control now, therefore, we always will be. Who has ever won that battle? I know I haven't.  There are things I cannot do - ever.  If I start thinking I am in control therefore can start baking and having pies, cakes, cookies around and there will be no problem I am being a fool (again). I always lose that battle - always. Every time.  For a day or two I am OK then the "drift" begins. I gradually eat more and more and then am completely out of control and then think I must eat it all so it won't be around to tempt me anymore and then here comes the confession, the self-flagellation, the slogans are all ready to go and I can feel virtuous once more about "getting back on track" (forgot that one in my earlier list).


Who gets us "off track"? I have blogged before about something that troubles me - how can I want this weight off so badly and then do the very things that keep it from happening?


Are we going to talk about it ad nauseum? Our slip-ups? What we ate that we shouldn't have eaten? It would seem to be boring by now.  


We need a new topic. Each day should be our focus. Make today successful. They will pile up and the week will be successful, the month, the year, the rest of our lives. Stop thinking about how much weight needs to be lost, how long it is going to take, dividing the pounds to be lost by 12 or 24 or however long we have decided it's going to take so we know what has to be done by when. We busy ourselves with doing things that fool us into thinking that "this is it" and there will be no more of this messing around.  This is going to have to be for the rest of our lives so today is what matters. Each day. All week. All month. All year.  Nobody is perfect but we don't have to go off the deep end over a cookie. We don't go off the deep end over carrots. There is too much emotional baggage that comes with cookies. We must stay away from them then. It is often another lost battle. If there is a day that isn't our best effort we can still exercise and drink the water. The all or nothing mentality has to stop. We have to stop thinking "Well, today is ruined so I might as well eat all the things I love so "it's out of my system" (another one I forgot in my earlier list). If today is less than what we expect of ourselves, we can start over right now, not tomorrow, not Monday.


This is one area of our lives in which we can be in control regardless of if the rest of our lives are out of whack. It's hard. We can do it. I have also berated myself over "how can someone who is so smart, earned a Master's Degree, taught for 33 years have so much trouble with eating/food?" There are so many issues from the past related to food that intelligence doesn't have much to do with it evidently. If we can figure out the reasons for our dysfunctional relationship with food and eating - great. Regardless, we still have to do the same things to lose our weight and keep it off. 


Let's go after what we want and leave all these excuses, slogans, and rationalizations behind. Let's start thinking things through and being proactive. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Be well.

10 comments:

  1. Great thoughts and so true. Don't waste our lives - just live them!!

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    1. It's time to build our lives around people, activities, healthy things, and stop this food/eating obsession thing we have. Wishing and hoping isn't going to get it done.

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  2. Replies
    1. We are working on it and supporting/encouraging each other. There isn't one of us who has not tried to short cut this. Coming to terms with this is an important step.

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  3. I remember hearing my mother say these kinds of things about 'well, today is blown so I'll just eat it all' and feeling like that was the weirdest idea in the world. It didn't make sense at all to my as yet not too warped young mind. As I have grown and matured I have appreciated that my 'rebellion' against my mothers ways put me in a position to never do anything too far over the edge. Her all or nothing ways were not for me.
    Now I struggle a bit with being able to 'put it all out there' in a truly fearless way. But I guess I should thank her for this after all. At least I am not stuck with huge black or white swings to my life as she is. Yes, after reading about this type of struggle written from a sane point of view I can appreciate what my mother showed me not to do.
    I enjoy your insightfulness so much. To be honest, sometimes your written word makes me uncomfortable because of what it reminds me of. But once I get through it and digest it I find that your purpose is always constructive and helps me to grow.
    From one timid spirit who hides inside an outgoing personality, I hope you can see how wonderful that is.

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    1. What a touching, heartwarming comment. You always take the time to express how you feel and if it is more comfortable to say what you need to say in this manner it can only lead to a more bold version of yourself. It is probably obvious that I was and am a teacher. I used to take more class time than I should have talking about life. I love helping others see a better way to live. It helps me knowing I have helped others. Thank you so much for such a heartfelt comment. Take care.

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  4. When I first read bits of this I got a little annoyed (as we do when we know something is exactly about us only we don't want to acknowledge it!). Then I came back to it...and saw the absolute truth of your post. Because, after all, it was talking about me, to me, and for my benefit. I like it when I read something I can think about and that impacts. And I got some much from it.

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    1. Sometimes it takes another person who has experienced the same things to make it clear to us how we have been fooling ourselves. I can write about these things because I have done these things. That feeling of discomfort when something comes to the surface is how we come to terms with our strategies for protecting our self-esteem. No one likes to face the facts about how we have fallen short and found ways to make it seem OK. This cannot be. Take care.

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  5. This got me thinking, in a good way. I think one of the things I am working on is breaking old (and bad) cycles. It doesn't come over night, but it's definitely worth fighting for!

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    1. Thinking is a good thing especially if it helps us improve ourselves and our awareness of what we have been doing to ourselves. It truly is a battle. It comes down to an often difficult look at the games we have played and the lies we have told ourselves in order to help us feel like we aren't so bad. We have taken our health for granted and abused our bodies. The fight is on and we will win.

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