Weight loss support with a spiritual element. I will keep you posted on my journey in the hopes that you will join me in becoming the person God wants you to be. Don't worry about being religious. Come as you are.

Saturday, December 31, 2011

This Makes Me Sad

My sister had this on her blog:



It's a mystery to me why anyone would do this to themselves but I have been self-destructive at times and still am occasionally but--

We tend to look at these people and think, "Well, at least I am not that fat" and feel more OK about how big we are. Have you ever glanced around a room and thought, "that person is bigger than I am"? I have. Not proud of it. Now that I have been in this battle for so long, I am much more compassionate than I used to be. Blogging has helped. People are hurting and dying over this. Now I know how that person feels and am more aware of my own weaknesses. I could be that big too. I know it. That word "but" doesn't let me off the hook. That word doesn't mean it's OK to be obese because someone else is bigger than I am.

Let's weigh in the morning and make that our starting point. Regardless of what we have done or not done through the holidays - it is still our starting point.

Paint Your Toes in the Winter?

Here is an interesting blog post I think we would all benefit from reading:


I also had a little epiphany the other morning as I looked at my toes and the mostly gone, very chipped nail polish on them. In the winter I usually just let the polish go and it gets cut off as I do my pathetic version of a pedicure. My attitude has always been - nobody will see pretty polish if I take the time to apply it; I am not going to being wearing sandals or flips anytime soon. Remember when flips first came out they were called "thongs"? I have a friend who is in her mid-sixties who told her daughters she needed a pair of thongs - what a hoot they had over that! But I digress -

Don't we have the wrong attitude about ourselves? Shouldn't we paint our toes in the winter because WE like the way our toes look that way? Wouldn't that be a little boost to our self-esteem if we felt like our toes were pretty? There are products for a really nice pedicure at home. If you have the means, why not get it professionally done?

How about some pretty lingerie? I imagine many of us wear the industrial strength stuff or our lingerie (we don't even call it that; we call it underwear) is in pretty bad shape. There are companies that specialize in plus sizes. I am sure a search on Amazon would turn up some very nice things.

Well, it's resolution time. The prefix "re" usually means to do something over. To resolve would be to solve something again. A resolution would be to find the solution again. Since we all know what the solution is, why not adopt the behaviors that will be the solution again? Rather than looking forward to 2012 let's look back at 2011 and take inventory of what we have done and not done. Let's also relax this time about it. No more panic or anxiety. We are in charge of this body not the food. Let's realize that it's about what we want the most and decide what that is.

Let's paint our toes and buy some sexy lingerie. Let's stop putting those things on hold until we feel like we deserve them. When we take off our shoes and are barefoot, we will like what we see. When we get ready for bed, the lacy, red (oh my!) underthings will be a little boost to our self-image. Who doesn't need that?

Friday, December 30, 2011

Computer Problem Resolved

My computer is now better than ever. Have you ever used a remote technical support company? They are absolutely amazing. They take over your computer remotely (from India in my case) and clean up the entire system. I can now open up the casing for the CPU, remove the RAM cards, re-seat them. I could not believe the dirt and dust inside that thing. It's a wonder it worked at all. I kept getting the "blue screen of death" as it is called. They got my printer going, cleaned out a worm, did things to speed up my system - I am absolutely amazed at what they did. I can call once a month and they will remotely clean up my system again on a monthly basis.

I will be more consistent with my blogging now. With the New Year right around the corner there will be much to read and comment upon I am sure. I was hoping to be in onederland on January 1 but that may not happen. I went in to get my blood pressure checked and of course they weighed me which I wasn't expecting. I would have shaved my eyebrows, taken off my nail polish, and worn shoes that could be taken off easily - however, I was weighed with my tennis shoes and belt on and it was 203 in the early afternoon. Who knows - I could be in onederland on Sunday. If not, soon thereafter.

Don't party too hard on New Year's Eve - alcohol gives you the courage to do anything while simultaneously taking away the ability to do so. Many of us don't drink at all I am sure. I will have a glass of wine. If I do more than that, I want to eat - it always is something salty and greasy and then I want something sweet - not worth it.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Computer is being Hateful

I am having computer problems with my desktop at home so I am here at the library in town using my laptop. Blogging may be a bit sparse until I get that beast up and going again.

I am still going to weigh myself on January 1 but onederland may have to wait a bit. If I am in onederland that will be great but I am prepared to get the news of where I will be starting and will get to onederland with all dispatch, tally ho and all that rot. I have never had so many events, pitch ins, eating outs, and there are still more. There is a family dinner tonight and we are eating out with friends on Friday.

On New Year's Day there will be a meal including cabbage. Do any of you do that? My mother-in-law used to make a big pot of cabbage with smoked sausage and potatoes in it. She would put a dime in it and whoever got the dime in their serving was supposed to have an extra portion of good luck the next year. If
you do this, you may want to check the kids' servings - there is definitely a choking hazard here. I am planning on making vegetable beef soup and making it thick with cabbage.

I have been faithful to my exercising and am getting my 64 oz. of water in daily. I will be continuing that into 2012 and getting back to low-carb and waiting for true hunger. I have not been too indulgent on the sweets as I can leave them alone after getting it out of my system through low-carb. My step aerobics instructor has really been struggling with the workouts the last two times and she said it is because she has been eating way too much sugar. She makes candy, fudge, cookies - all that stuff and now she is paying for it. She said she was almost sick one evening from it. I guess that shows we aren't the only ones because she does spinning, teaches step aerobics, and lifts weights. She is very muscular. She will just get back to usual soon instead of doing what we do and go off the deep end, get depressed, and make it worse.

Well - I am going to read and comment on some of your blogs now. I haven't been on the internet for 3 days now so I am really behind. Here we come 2012!!!

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Christmas Wishes to my Blogging Friends

May your heart be the stable and Jesus be born in it this night again or for the first time. Have you ever heard that God is Love? Love entered the world and God provided a way for burdens to be lifted. I know some of you carry heavy burdens that you don't have to carry. Give them to God and His love will be the help that you need.

I was going to put a link here for Morgan Cryar's beautiful song "What Sin" but my flashplayer needs upgraded or my browser or something. You can listen to it on youtube.

I wish all of you a Merry Christmas.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Winning the Battle of the Bulge is not for Sissies

Failure is just another way to learn how to do something right. - Marian Wright Edelman

He who limps is still walking. - Stanislaw Lec

Expanding on the first quote creates a tug of war in me. I think I was so used to failure for years that I wasn't learning anything but how to fail better. On the other hand, I think all those failures in the presence of deep down wanting to be successful at this created the person that is now confident about getting the weight off. It is not OK to continue to fail but if that's the path that takes us to finally getting it all together then it has served a purpose. So we shouldn't fret about failures but we also don't want them to dominate forever. Through our failures we have learned about ourselves and some of it we don't like. We are now stronger to make it happen because we have more information through our own reading, through blogging, through trying/trying/trying, and through reflection. Let's change trying/trying/trying to doing/doing/doing.

We especially don't want to quit or just give up. Weight loss bloggers are very understanding because they have done the same things. There are people very willing to counsel with you and they will do all they can (I am thinking of Mir, Princess Dieter and Jane Cartelli at Keeping the Pounds Off) if we ask but it really just comes down to us and the food. Each of our followers and commenters is a counselor.

Many are limping but that is still walking. Whether we are crawling, limping, walking, or running into the New Year there is hope- as long as we draw breath there is hope.

I'm not going to be a sissy anymore, how about you?

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

21 Things About Myself

Bzybee has this on his web site and I thought it might be fun as well.

1.  I am a Christian and a conservative.

2.  I am a retired school teacher.

3.  One of my hobbies is quilting. Another hobby is working in the yard. Our yard has been on two garden tours and may be on another one this next summer. I love giving quilts to family members for graduations, weddings, babies, retirements, etc. I have not kept one quilt for myself.

4.  I do not understand all the hoopla about dirt, germs, washing hands. Dirt is not radioactive nuclear waste. We came from the dirt and will return to it.  Germs are everywhere and we are exposed to them each and every day. This washing hands thing and now wiping the handles of grocery carts seems a little silly to me. I wash my hands if they are dirty.  I know germs can be transmitted through surfaces and contact. Hygiene is important but aren't we getting a little carried away? If we keep ourselves healthy our bodies can fight germs because our immune system is stronger because of developing immunities to germs with which we have come into contact. We live in our house; we don't do surgery there. I get maybe one cold a year. I never get the flu. This is just me. I know the nurses out there are probably gasping for breath. :-) Could people be getting sick because of their immune systems? People who smoke, drink too much, drink sodas, eat junk food, are sedentary - I think this is the problem not runaway heat seeking missile guided germs. You probably think I live in a pig sty but we live here and it looks like it! I posted earlier about people with eating problems also having a problem managing money and with clutter. I definitely have the clutter thing.

5.  I am married still to the original one. It has not been easy. We have two sons. Nathan is in the Army and Isaac does computer aided drafting.

6.  I get tired of being asked how I am by people who don't care how I am. It is just empty talk. When a telephone call starts with that, I know it's a telemarketer. Do they really want to know about my aches and pains?

7. As America goes down the toilet, let's remember that the breakdown of the traditional American family is one of the main reasons. I just heard on the radio that 50 years ago 72% of adults were married - now it's 51%.  Do you think those statistics relate to the dropout rate, crime, child abuse, and dependency on the government? Government is now the other parent. If we allow gay marriage, next is three people can wed, uncles and nieces, heck, you will probably get to marry the dog someday. I honestly don't think we can turn it around. America is losing its soul. Human life is devalued. We are desensitized to violence because there is so much of it to hear and watch. There wouldn't be so much of that stuff if people weren't voting with their money for it to be produced.

8. Communication skills are suffering. I have tried to talk through Facebook or emails about political things and it is nearly always reduced to name calling and insults - that ends the conversation for me.

9. Ideologues. If the very same things had happened under Republican leadership that have happened under the present leadership, the liberal Democrats would be screaming from the rooftops. We have had our credit rating downgraded (Obama made a speech as senator when this was done under George Bush that it was un-American and immature to do this). Our debt has tripled. There are more people on food stamps now than ever before. 47% of Americans don't pay taxes. Unemployment was 6.5% when Obama took office - it is now 8.6% I think. We don't look at the facts and make our decisions. We look at whether it was done by a Democrat or a Republican.  There is so much corruption in this administration it is hard to know where to start. Frank/Dodd - the mortgage debacle. Fast and Furious. These green energy companies that got taxpayer   money and are failing. Obama care - passing bills without even reading them. Political correctness has gotten ridiculous. Please don't tell me about Obama inheriting a mess. Every new president inherits from the president before him. Obama is not special. The Democrats controlled the Senate and the House for the last two years of the previous administration. Did they try to turn anything around and I missed it?

10. We have a registered German Shepherd puppy. His name is Sarge. We have a cat named Noggin. A dog thinks, "You feed me, you water me, you take care of me when I am sick - you must be a god." A cat thinks, "You feed me, you water me, you take care of me when I am sick - I must be a god."

11.  My husband is recovering from a compression fracture in his back. He fell backwards down some basement steps.

12. I think friends and family are truly blessings. I have conservatives and liberals in both groups. It's OK.

13.  I love our wood stove. That heat is so cozy.

14.  I like to cook and am pretty good at it.

15.  I am making exercise my new normal. I have been consistently exercising 6 times a week. Drinking 64 oz. of water a day is my new normal as well.

16. I haven't been going to Church like I used to. I am more concerned with being spiritual lately as opposed to being religious. I am going to Church tomorrow as I am not on call. It is good to be in the house of the Lord and to fellowship with other Christians. I want to take Communion. Being on call has interfered with this at times. It is easier to be spiritual if I attend Church I am realizing. I am in Bible Study Fellowship and have learned so much about scripture. I have been reading about the symbolism in the Bible - very interesting.

17.  I work part-time for ATM Solutions. I have a route and I get the deposits out of the ATM and take them into the bank. I have a loaded weapon that I must qualify with each year. I drive an armored vehicle when they need me to cover for one of the drivers.

18.  I am a morning person.

19. I do have that compulsive personality. If I wasn't an overeater, I would be an alcoholic or a gambler or overspend more than I already do.

20.  I like to read. I love my Kindle.

21.  Our youngest son has decided he is an atheist. This bothers me of course. There is a part of us that cannot be explained with blood and tissue. It is our Spirit. There is the supernatural and miracles do happen.

Sunday, December 18, 2011


Compliance to a set of rules eventually leads to rebellion against them. So if you begin to eat less through compliance, you end up eating more in rebellion.

I have lost my weight twice and gained it back. This time I am not following someone else's rules for losing weight.

I also think that going through those two losses and regains taught me a lot. I had more information about myself this time. Perhaps it was necessary to bring me to now with 2012 very near and I am losing weight, exercising, and drinking the water. I will not be starting 2012 with yet another vow that this was going to really be the year I lost all my weight. I will start 2012 continuing to run my race (I am losing weight my own way). I will stay in my lane (it doesn't matter what others are doing or what the latest diet or advice is - I read those things and use what suits me), and I will continue to throw off the hindrances that have prevented me from success in the past. Hindrances in the past have consisted of negative self-talk, all or nothing thinking, and using excuses/rationalizations to quit. Please read Slogans if you haven't already.

Someday may never come. So live each day better than the last. That way you'll wake up with so much excitement and anticipation you'll jump out of bed and shout . . . I can't wait!  -Bob Perks

(from jensgyrations.blogspot.com)

Enjoy a digital Christmas story.


Thursday, December 15, 2011

Something to Think About

Maybe a balanced diet, moderation in all things, is the way to go? This was on my sister's blog (www.jensgyrations.blogspot.com) and I thought you might like to see it and form your own opinions. The skin tone is the most striking difference in these two women. The condition of their hair is another striking difference. The woman on the right has a healthy layer of fat underneath her skin which supports it and there are few, if any, wrinkles.

Did you know that a tan is the skin's way of trying to protect itself? Too much sun (real or fake) causes the skin to darken, get leathery and tough in an effort to protect itself - to keep the harmful rays out. It also causes damage to the lower layers of skin which support the top layer. I remember a woman at school who was tan year around through real and fake sun. She was very wrinkled because the top layer of skin had lost its support.

As women, most of us want to look our best. We are treated differently when we look good and take care of our appearance. I know most of us would probably say it is for ourselves but it is also to attract the opposite sex. Who doesn't like an appreciative once-over by the opposite sex or positive attention through a smile or a nod and some conversation? It's basically that sexual drive that perpetuates the species and all that. It's why women wear make-up, do their hair, and take care of their appearance especially before they settle down with one man. It's why men show off and strut around and be strong.

After marriage, the new often wears off and people don't take care of themselves like they once did. Women use having babies as the perfect excuse but do any of you know women who have had a few babies and still look really good? I do. Men don't suffer as many social consequences as women do for their out of shape bodies. It is what it is.

My husband and I went to a "His Needs, Her Needs" marriage seminar at our church. Guess what was No. 1 on the His Needs list? Yep, you guessed it - sex. It was No 3 on the Her Needs list. No. 1 for women was communication and I think No. 2 was security. There is a book by that name. It would be great for couples to study together. Men want their women to look good. Married or not, they notice other women who are sexy - it's just how it is. Don't we all notice the opposite sex? Men are not naturally monogamous however so women need to be aware of this need in their men. They also want their women to be a buddy. If he likes to fish, he wants her to go with him. If he likes Nascar, same.

Just some rambling thoughts when I saw that picture on my sister's blog today. What do you think about these two women?

We Interrupt This Program---

Sean Anderson's book, Transformation Road, will be available soon.. He lost 267 lbs. WOW. I follow him on Facebook and he has a post a few days ago about interrupting his own funeral. What a thought provoking thing to say. When something is interrupted, the "flow" is stopped or detoured. We usually think of interrupting as something rude and impolite but let's look at it another way - from our perspective about our funerals. We usually avoid topics like this but really - everybody dies.

I heard it said once that we choose how we die. There are exceptions to this, of course, but we do contribute to how long we will live and how we will leave this world. How many of the common risk factors for health problems do we have?

1. smoking
2. overweight
3. diabetic
4. hypertension
5. overdrinking
6. poor diet
7. lack of exercise
8. negative attitude
9. high cholesterol
10. family history

I took my mother to the doctor for a kidney check. She has too much protein in her urine which is a sign of diabetes. As I sat with her in the urologist's office I read some literature there for kidney problems. Hypertension is a major contributing factor to kidney problems. Mom told me once the bottom BP number is the one that indicates whether a person is at risk for kidney problems. Diabetes is hard on all the organs because the blood is sticky with too much sugar making it more like sludge making it hard to move making for stress on all organs and blood flow.

I have three of the above risk factors - weigh too much, hypertension, and family history. I can affect the first two but not the last.

I have my bottom number back down in the 80's and the top number is down in the 160's from 180 so if I continue perhaps I can get it down to acceptable before too long. It can't be above 140 to pass the DOT physical.

It will be the first day of winter soon and then the days will start getting longer. It's usually the end of January before I notice it but it's creeping along day by day. So many things have to get to a certain point before we notice them. As I have lost some weight I will become more aware of being able to keep up better in step aerobics, of being able to lift heavier weights, my legs don't rub together - little things have built and built and then I noticed it. It's a good feeling. We don't ignore these things because they make us feel better about ourselves. We do ignore the things that we really would rather not deal with - blood pressure, blood sugar, cholesterol, etc. Why do we ignore things that could cause our funerals? Let's stop ignoring what we are doing that is not contributing to our health and interrupt our funerals. For me, it's blood pressure. I have completely given up caffeine. I cannot have a little bit and I might as well resign myself to that. It's not exactly like losing an arm or anything.

Not a real upbeat topic at Christmas but Sean's words got stuck in my brain.

Take care.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011


I weighed 201.5 this morning and will not weigh again here at home until January 1 at which time I will be in onederland thank you very much :-) I have a doctor's appt. today for the renewal of my blood pressure medication but this is my true weight. I have over two weeks to lose two pounds. I cannot remember a holiday season where I have eaten out more or had more "get togethers" and pitch-ins! 'Tis the Season I guess. I have step aerobics this morning, then I will do my route, my doctor's appt. is at 3:10, and I am on call this evening from 3 - 11. Tomorrow won't be quite so busy. I am going to try to take the RAM out of my computer, clean it, and then reseat it - I watched a youtube video about it so wish me luck!

Hope all of you are managing and avoiding the overindulgence that is so easy to do at this time of year if we aren't careful. If you are doing well, great. If you are not, remember you can do some things right - the water and the exercise for example. You might read "Let's Pluck Out an Eye" http://myrasjourney.blogspot.com/2011/01/lets-pluck-out-eye.html to help get your head on straight if it's necessary. Just don't punish yourself with more food for crying out loud. Take care. Take a walk. Take 5. Take time for yourself. Relax.

Monday, December 12, 2011

Be An Overachiever!

***Bite off more than you can chew, then chew it. Plan more than you can do, then do it.~~ Anonymous (from jensgyrations.blogspot.com)

How do we challenge ourselves? Do we like to play it safe and choose goals we are sure we can reach? When is a challenge too ambitious? Should we set goals higher than we can reach and then go for it? Even if we fall short we have made progress. I guess it's all about how we handle not being perfect emotionally.

I remember how the kids in school were treated who were seemingly perfect to the rest of us. They were teacher's pets, brown noses, kiss-ups, etc. The ones who always had the right answers were ridiculed and discouraged from answering. I know when I was teaching I would ask the class a question and no one was volunteering the answer even though I could tell several knew the answer but were reluctant to contribute. We learn young to hold back don't we? Those who rise to the top will be put in their place by those who don't want to look mediocre by comparison.

I had one extremely intelligent boy. He was also pretty shrewd. He was reading at 2 years old. He got a perfect score on the PSAT. He skipped a grade. He didn't have any friends. I heard some students one day running him down because he wouldn't help them. His retort was that they didn't want help; they wanted the answers. They didn't want to learn the content; they wanted to be done with the assignment. 

How many of us have copied someone else's answers? You can answer this privately of course. When it's time for the test and all that's been done is to copy the answers of others, the grade will not be very good. Students have gotten pretty creative at cheating on tests as well however.

Why did we do that? I have to admit I was one of the ones who did my own work, made good grades, and all that.  We learn early that getting it done was the goal not learning the content. Students would ask me when I gave them work to do if it was going to be on the test. If it wasn't - then they had no interest in it even if it was interesting content. Now, with weight loss - EVERYTHING is on the test.

Now we are faced with something we have to do ourselves - lose weight. There is no one's paper to copy. There will be a test, however. It won't be graded on a curve. We do get to take the test over and over and over and over again until we learn what we need to learn. If losing weight is our only goal, there will be difficulties because without the content, that test will be failed. We all know that - we have failed repeatedly. We don't learn the content. We just wanted the weight off and we can hang in there and go great guns for a time but then we have to take a test and our score is right there on the scales and yep - we have to take the test again. There were pop quizzes where we didn't know what to expect at the pitch-in meal. That pop quiz at the birthday party threw us as did Thanksgiving. We always knew a pop quiz was possible but it wouldn't really be today would it? It's always today.

I did well in school but I did my work because the teacher said to do it and told us what was expected and when it was due.  The motivation was that I wanted to make good grades not that I necessarily wanted to learn anything. Someone else was telling me what to do. Even in college - just tell me what to do and when it was due and I would wait until the last minute and, well, you know - stay up all night. I have a nephew who is an internist and doing very well. He treated college like an 8 hour a day job. No matter when his first class was he was still at work at 8 a.m. even if the class was not until 11 he would be in the library or working on assignments somewhere. His evenings and weekends were free pretty much. What self-discipline.

As adults we have grown up with people telling us what was expected and we did it (well, most of us). As adults now, we have to find it within us to set and reach goals. We are making up the test. We are determining the content. The content is more important than the test. We will pass the test if we have mastered the content.

Wouldn't it be nice to enter the New Year just continuing what we have been doing rather than starting over, beginning anew, getting back on track, ready for each test (weigh-ins) because we are mastering the content (moving more, eating healthy things, drinking the water, etc.)

Paul said a few days ago that he felt like this was going to be his year - meaning 2012. Let's join Paul and make it our years too. This time next year we could be looking forward to 2013 with thankful hearts for our progress. There will be a test. No matter what we do, 2013 will begin and 2012 will be a memory. How do each of us want to look back on 2012? We are going to have to look back on it regardless. What do we want to see in that  rear view mirror? We have a once in a lifetime chance to start 2012 and we can start gearing up for it now with some easy behavior changes. Can we all drink at least 64 oz. of water each day until then? Can we exercise 3 - 5 times a week until then? Sure we can. Let's get started, what do you say? Here is a mini-challenge - 64 oz. of water per day and exercise 3 - 5 times a week until January 1, 2012 then decide if you want to continue and add another behavior change - to be announced later. You can report this on your own blogs and update each time you post. You can then choose your own next behavior change - we all are different and this really should belong to you. The most successful people in terms of weight loss and maintenance are the ones who did it their own way. I have decided I am not a "Challenge" type because of this very reason. I want to do it my way (Frank Sinatra music here).

We will also be looking back on the last few days of 2011 soon. What do you want to see?

Let's make 2012 our year.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Prayer for 2012 - cute!


Just a smile for you.

Today is going well for me as I hope it is for you. I have already done my route and will be working on some Linus quilts for a service project. The quilts go to the local police and fire departments and when they go to a situation where children are under stress they give them a quilt. We also have Birthright in Richmond and I will be making some receiving blankets to be given to young, unwed mothers with new babies. My quilt group, The Happy Scrappers, also makes patriotic quilts to give to injured soldiers or to the families of fallen soldiers. Another thing some of you might consider is taking a Sunday School class to a local nursing home. We take the 3 - 4 grade class on the last Sunday of each month. We sing "Jesus Loves Me" to all the patients we can and do you know they all know the words and sing along. The kids give them hugs and shake their hands because being touched is one of the things these people miss.

What service projects are you a part of? If you are, great. What the world needs now is love, sweet love (remember that song?). If not, I can't think of a better New Year's Resolution.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Glass Half Full?

A thousand things went right today.
– Ilan Shamir

This is a humbling thought. What have we complained about so far today? Are you a glass half full or a glass half empty type of person? There are probably a thousand things that went right today in our bodies. Did our car start? Do we have enough to eat and a warm place to sleep? Is your income such that you can give some to alleviate the troubles of someone else?

Mary over at A Small Loss said in her blog today that one of her favorite motivational sayings is "if you have a body, you are an athlete". What a positive way to think about our ability to walk, ride a bicycle, swim, and many other things. 

It's cold here. I had Bible Study Fellowship this morning and then did my ATM route. 

I have been noticing more hunger lately and I think part of it is because I have gone up to 10 lb. weights in my classes and been exercising regularly enough to have built some muscle I think so that means a higher metabolism because as we all know, muscle tissue is much more metabolically active than fat tissue. As I am working on eating intuitively I don't know whether to trust myself or not. My problem has always been stopping not waiting for true hunger. I just have to take a small amount and eat that but it's not as satisfying as it was so I eat something else as well. I feel like I am overeating.

I have Jazzercise this evening and then Step Aerobics in the morning. I have been able to be consistent with my workouts so that is a good thing - my new normal. It is nice not to be tempted by sweets like I used to be. There are so many good, sugar free products anymore. The chocolate pudding is excellent in my opinion. Atkins has a peanut butter cup that tastes like Reese's. I really want to be able to drink a small glass of red wine in the evenings before bed. I have switched to a somewhat drier Cabernet Savignon that is good. I was having a sweet red wine from Oliver but I would drink the whole bottle on many occasions then I wanted something salty and greasy and after a bottle of wine the resolve just ain't what it should be - know what I mean? I've said before that I could very easily be an alcoholic.

After my little blood pressure stunt failing the DOT physical I am totally decaf coffee and herbal teas. I haven't checked my BP but my ears have stopped ringing - that's a good thing.

We took our German Shepherd puppy to the Vet yesterday and he had gained 15 lb. in one month. That's my boy - I could do that as well :-) He got a distemper booster, we got 6 heart worm pills so we would get a 5% discount, and some Benadryl as he is scratching a lot in spite of the pill we give him for fleas/ticks. We dropped $140 there. I can't remember spending that on one of the boys even if they were sick. Oh well.

I hope that everyone is navigating through this time of year without too much over-indulgence. Don't get so stressed out that you can't tell if you found a rope or lost a horse - OK?

Monday, December 5, 2011

Sick People

Please go to Wikipedia and read up on Koobface - it's a nasty worm that infects computers through social sites. I just paid big bucks to get my computer healthy again. I put people who write viruses in the same class with people who put glass in Halloween candy. Anyway - be careful. Reformatting your computer and reinstalling your software will not rid your computer of this one. If you want to know the company I used to fix things let me know. I was getting the "blue screen of death" more and more often. The worm was doing its thing.

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Observing Myself

Now that Thanksgiving is over I have had some time to reflect on my behaviors. I got the water in every day - 64 oz. which is 8 cups of water. I also prayed for strength in the morning and then was thankful for it at night. I have tried not to overdo the water since my tendency is to overdo EVERYTHING. I consistently exercised. Last Thursday morning my manager said to get my DOT physical which has to be renewed every year so that I can drive the armored vehicles for ATM Solutions. I failed the test because of my blood pressure - kind of discouraging but I had eaten some salted nuts the night before and I have not been careful about caffeine. My BP was 180/108 - YIKES. So - I was thankful for the information and I have given up real coffee and no more salted nuts for me. I have to go back in 3 months and try again. To tell you the truth I wouldn't care if I never drive an armored vehicle again but I do care if I have a stroke. They weighed me. I haven't weighed myself in a long time and my weight was 202 - I think the last weight I reported to you was 203.5. This weight was in late morning and I found my work phone in my pocket that I forgot to take out so I may be in onederland as I sit here. I have an appointment on the 14th with my doctor to get my BP prescription renewed so I will report my weight again then.

One epiphany for me during this holiday was how I ate peacefully. It was different. I didn't realize I had anxiety even while I ate but now that I can eat peacefully without racing thoughts about weight, can I stop, how much should I eat, guilt feelings - you know the drill. Those thoughts in the back of my mind ruined the enjoyment of what I was eating in the past and I really didn't realize it at the time. In the past not only would I have overeaten at the meal but I would have eaten the rest of the evening because the day was already a bust. Then it would continue because after overeating to that extent it is hard to get back with the program.

I have been able to go up to using 10 lb. weights in my classes and feel pretty good about that.

My favorite part of the day is getting into my warm bed and talking to God a while before I fall asleep. The warmth and comfort is like the everlasting arms to me.

Did any of you notice new behaviors that have become your new normal during the holiday we just enjoyed?