“Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.” - Lily Tomlin
This is pretty deep and I have been thinking how to expand upon it. I think maybe forgiveness would better be termed acceptance at times. Maybe if we can first accept the past, we can someday forgive. Do we forgive someone who hurt us when we were young and that has caused us difficulties that we still have to overcome? Or do we accept the fact that our home/parents/marriage/whatever caused us pain that we must now put away and get on with life? As a Christian I am told to forgive or I will not be forgiven. I too have done things for which I need mercy. If the other person doesn't ask for forgiveness, do we still carry the load of the problem? I look back on difficult times and tell myself, "That was the best he/she could do at the time." Many are not prepared to parent because of their own baggage. Many make a very poor spouse. I think many people when they look back on the person they are now divorced from wonder why they couldn't see those glaring faults. We just have to accept that. The past is not going to get any better is it? We might as well accept that, forgive it, and move on with happiness as best we know how. Is this the best we can do at this time?
I have rehearsed in my mind the things I would do to get even, the things I would say, the power of being hateful in return. Who is suffering here? If thoughts are things and they have energy, is this the way I want to go? These thoughts will create my today and contribute to my tomorrow. Isn't living well the best revenge? Isn't amounting to something, achieving something despite the past the victory over those people and things that we could choose to give the power to defeat our achievement of our goals?
There will not be a better past but the future is looking better all the time don't you think?