I haven't posted for a couple of days. I bought a car and have been doing all that's necessary with license plates, insurance, title, etc. I had Bible Study Fellowship last night and didn't get home until about 9 p.m.
Now the next suggested activity is building an altar. I am not there yet. The rest of the chapter has good information but I did not do the altar although I will tell you what was suggested.
The course is not so much about your relationship to food as it is about your relationship to your Creator. In healing your relationship to Him, you heal your relationship to yourself; and in healing your relationship to yourself, you heal your relationship to everything.
Our goal is that you have a miracle. By opening your mind to the possibility of a miracle, you pave the way for your experience of one.
It is suggested that you accept this fact: that you cannot beat this problem by yourself. You cannot stop. You have no control over it. It is bigger than you are. If you could have done this by yourself, you would have done so by now. Your freedom lies in accepting that which frightens you most: that you are powerless to stop this problem, to fight it or to fix it. . .your compulsion to eat excessively is stronger than you are. . .you are so tired of this war you have fought against yourself that part of you would rather die than go on. It's time to surrender the struggle now.
Your salvation in this area lies not in resisting the truth of your powerlessness before food, but rather in accepting it. Your problem is bigger than you are, then perhaps something else is bigger that it. All your efforts have been for nothing when confronted by the demonic power of your compulsion to eat excessively. I cannot, but God can! I cannot, but God can! becomes your mantra. God is big enough to handle your problems - so you need not be.
In order to end your compulsive eating's reign of terror, you need a power that actually moves through your brain, changes your nervous system, changes your patterns and habits, changes your self-image, changes your thoughts about food, changes your thoughts about your body; and a myriad of other physical, emotional, and psychological factors. If you accept the possibility that a miracle could happen--then you permit your mind to experience one. Something you always intuited but were terrified to admit--that of yourself you don't have what it takes to lose your weight and keep it off permanently--becomes a relief. You don't, but God does.
The weight on your body is nothing compared to the weight on your heart.. . .the sadness, the shame, the despair, the weariness. You are carrying burdens you were not meant to carry and do not have to carry.
Perhaps you are someone who feels a need to sabotage yourself when things get too good. Perhaps you've made a subconscious decision that you should allow yourself only this much success, or this much money, or this much physical beauty or happiness. There is a point past which the subconscious alarm starts blaring, "uh-oh! Too much good! Too much good! Your mustn't go there! Go back!" As in, go back into that limited condition where you belong. Don't you dare break free. If you break through that barrier, all hell will break loose! But in front of that barrier is where hell in fact has already broken loose. It is not enough to control your appetite; true healing involves dissolving the barrier, removing the false thi9nking that has kept you bound. Thee is no way to surrender your weight without surrendering your subconscious belief that you're better off weighing too much. Sometimes we're tempted to cap our good, afraid that what heppens when the cap is removed is too chaotic, too out-of-control a process. All that life energy coming at you is not a threat, but a gift; it's not a curse, but a blessing.
I will finish tomorrow.