Weight can be a physical manifestation of a need to keep others at bay. We build a wall for protection and each brick means something: shame, anger, fear, unforgiveness, judgment, disdain, excess responsibility, pressure, exhaustion, burden, stress, heartbreak, injustice, protection, pride, selfishness, jealousy, greed, laziness, separation, dishonesty, arrogance, inferiority, embarrassment, self-abnegation.
The weight we are seeking to let go of was added to our consciousness before it was added to our bodies. When the weight is gone from our consciousness, it will be gone from our physical experience. In asking God to remove the cause, we automatically remove the effect. What is unique about our situation is that for whatever reason, these thoughts or feelings have become frozen within us and are not being processed properly. We are failing to assimilate an experience and let it go. Painful experiences are not meant to linger. They are meant to teach us what they need to teach us, and then dissolve into the realm of soft-focus memory. We have subconsciously tried to get rid of these thoughts and feelings by eating them. If I can't process my sadness, perhaps I can eat my sadness. If I can't process my anger, perhaps I can eat my anger.
There are only two categories of thoughts--those of love and those of fear--and the only way to transcend fear is to replace it with love. As we identify fear thoughts and then surrender them to God, love emerges naturally. When thoughts that lead us to overeat are surrendered, then those that lead us to wholesome eating come forth to take their place. The pain has been pushed into our flesh. Now we are remembering that we can make another choice: we can look at our pain, and then release it to One in Whose hands it will dissolve forever.
Here is your first assignment. Begin a journal and write out each word that represents a brick in your wall. Do this thoughtfully and don't rush. Look at your darkness so you can see your light.
I am ashamed of ______________________. Perhaps you acted foolishly, and cringe to think that other people still remember.
I am angry at ______________________. Perhaps you feel unfairly treated, and have not released all your anger at the meanness of others. Or perhaps you have not forgiven yourself for self-sabotaging behavior in the past that affects your life now.
I am afraid of __________________________. Perhaps you carry a secret fear of loss, of tragedy, and have not yet learned to release it to God.
I haven't forgiven ________________________. Perhaps there is someone who betrayed your heart and you have not been able to forgive him or her yet.
I judge _____________________. Perhaps you think that others are behaving in ways they shouldn't, and you think and/or speak of them in negative terms.
I feel disdain for ________________________. Perhaps there are those who disagree with you, and you hold contempt for their beliefs and actions.
I am responsible for ________________________. Perhaps you carry the burden of thinking you're responsible for things that are out of your control.
I feel so pressured about _______________________. Perhaps you feel that at home, at work, as a lover, as a friend, as an employee, or as a parent, you're carrying more pressure than you can stand.
I am exhausted because __________________________. Perhaps you feel physically, mentally, and emotiojnally so tired that you can hardly stand to awaken some days.
I am burdened by ________________________. Perhaps you are carrying a pain in your heart that lies heavy upon and weighs you down.
I am stressed by ___________________________.
My heart is heavy because _____________________________.
It isn't fair that I _________________________________.
I feel I need protection from _________________________________.
I am prideful when _______________________________.
I am selfish when _____________________________.
I get jealous when __________________________________.
I get greedy when ______________________________.
I am lazy when ______________________________.
I feel separate from __________________________________.
I don't feel that I can be honest about _____________________________.
I am better than ___________________________________.
I feel not as good as ______________________________.
I am embarrassed because __________________________________.
I have built this wall so that others won't hate me for being beautiful and successful and seeming to have it all __________________________________________.
Please remove the wall that I have built around me.
I have built it so strong, dear God, that I cannot tear it down.
I surrender to You every thought of separation, every feeling of fear, every unforgiving thought.
Please, dear God, take this burden from me forever.
My growl came at about 9:30 a.m. this morning. I didn't receive any reports. Keep on but don't beat yourself up.