Weight loss support with a spiritual element. I will keep you posted on my journey in the hopes that you will join me in becoming the person God wants you to be. Don't worry about being religious. Come as you are.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Resolution Time Is Coming

Tomorrow is December 1 - wow. This is the time when many make the same decision that they have made many, many, many times before. They will begin on New Year's Day and this time they are going to do it. No ifs, ands, or buts (butts?) - couldn't resist. Lying to ourselves once more, this gives us permission somehow to eat ourselves into a stupor. There is always sometime in the future when everything will be perfect and there will be no snags in our dieting journey. How can this lie work every year? It has always been Monday, after the birthday party, or New Year's Day. Why do we do this? Do we want to lose weight or not? What purpose are these extra pounds serving? If we lose the weight, are we afraid more will be expected of us? If we lose the weight, are we afraid we'll gain it back (again) and it's easier to just stay fat?

On any given day when you feel triggered, when you are deeply drawn to the ritualistic dance of self-hatred that is overeating you will have more power to resist if on that day you have already experienced the power of your altar. . .if you have already prayed and given thanks to God. For having already bowed before the power of the Divine, you will be far less tempted to bow before the power of your compulsion to overeat.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Found this on a Blog

“Modern man is a self-certified genius who, having pinned the blue ribbon on his own lapel, proceeds to hand out all other awards, according as the various candidates are more or less like him.” -Hugh W Nibley
Yes we can learn from each other… so long as we approach one another with humility and sincerity. But if we live in our self-made ivory towers we aren’t any good to anyone.
My estimation is neither religion or secular science is the problem here. Guns don‘t kill people and white people aren’t the only racists in the world!
All of the problems we have in the world stem from the human condition known as pride. Religion doesn’t kill people, people kill people! (as long as that religion doesn’t actually teach people to kill, I know that Jesus never told anyone to kill another in his name).
It was prideful men who held the reigns of religion and did unspeakable things during the dark ages and today, but the teachings of Christ never justified killing or harming another.
If you want to play the religion is evil game then let us consider the communistic ATHIESTIC regimes that have murdered a 100 million people in the course of 100 years!
The commonality for most of our problems in the world stem from pride, thievery, lust, aspirations for power and unrighteous dominion over another. Whether it is some clergyman who lived long ago in a stone fortress or a secular Marxist statist today, the problem is in our nature.
It seems to me that whomever is at the reigns of power whether they be religious or secular they end up falling into the same pitfalls that many men in power have fallen into.
Who are the moralists that teach us to do no harm to another?  I can’t speak for the secular humanists, but for me it is the teachings of Christ that compel me to subdue the lusts of the flesh, my pride and ego.
Who among the secular humanists are taking the responsibility to fill the gap they are creating? By purging religion from the public square the impact of moralistic teaching is eroded. It is irresponsible to actively destroy the institution that teaches us morals only to NOT replace that void with something that will do the same job. A society needs morals and standards to have peace and to survive. It is the balance of the universe.


The Altar

Developing your character...

It is something special to be around someone who has real character in all that they do. Below are 10 ways to build your character by adopting a positive attitude in achieving your own level of personal and business success.
1. Do it even if it's difficult.
2. Take responsibility for your choices, your actions and your consequences.
3. Know why you do what you do.
4. Be honest, and be true to your word, both with yourself and with others.
5. Know your strengths, and work from them. Know your weaknesses even better, and avoid feeding into them.
6. Recognize your choices and use them wisely.
7. Develop self-discipline and know how not to overdo it.
8. Develop the ability to luxuriate, know when it's time to stop, and be able to stop.
9. Know the difference between what you want and what you need.
10. Recognize and respect boundaries. Be clear about your own, and give equal value and weight to those of others. 

This was on my sister's blog. I stole it because I like the message. She won't care.  :-) Her blog is 

Let's try tweaking your faith. Believe, even if only for just a moment, that God will work a miracle in your life. Try having faith in that. He will take away your inappropriate and excessive desires for food; He will remove your false appetites and return your body to its natural wisdom; He will restore your life to purpose and joy. There is no spot in the universe that isn't filled, infused, permeated, and lifted up by the Divine. Your Creator can't be left out, except in your thinking. and Wherever He is left out in your thinking, He can't help you. Let Him help you lose weight, and He will.

The work of this lesson is to build an altar to the Divine. You will build a spiritual altar in your heart, and a physical altar in your home.  Fear already has an altar--it's called your kitchen. With this lesson, your assignment is to create a place in your home that will remind you that love, no fear, is the true power in your life. Every time you visit your altar, it will fortify love's power in your mind. And the more love fills your mind, the more miracles will fill your life. The altar should include a surface on which to place beautiful or meaningful objects that remind you of Spirit. Your journal,  pictures, holy books, statues, fresh flowers, sacred objects.

"Love the Lord thy God will all thy heart, with all thy soul, with all thy might" is the first commandment. . .and why? Because it is the key to right living. We should focus on Divine will because if we don't, then our focus will be given over to something else. That something else is neurosis, pathology, compulsion, and fear. In our separation from the thoughts of love, blind to the true Source of our good, we look for love in all the wrong places. That is idolatry. Eating has become a false idol for you.

Just for today wait for the growl, eat only until satisfied, wait for the growl before eating again. Take it one day at a time.

Saturday, November 27, 2010


Well - today's my birthday. I received many birthday wishes. I have not blogged for a few days due to computer problems. We are back up and running so I need to get something going here. I have begun working on some Christmas gifts today.

Spiritually, your wanting to lose weight is not a desire to become less of yourself, but rather a desire to become more of your true self.. You are a being both created by love and at home in love. Your deepest desire is not for food, but for the experience of home. Your deepest desire is not for food, but for love.

As an aside - God is love. I was looking around on the internet for t-shirts and came upon a site that had some awful shirts in my opinion. I have read in a place or two when in a discussion about God that Jesus is an SOB and that Mary is a whore. Reading that evoked a sinking reaction in my gut. Jesus was begotten not conceived. John 3:16 - for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son---Man was originally created to live eternally in communion with God. Sin changed that. The only way man could be forgiven was by a perfect sacrifice. God cannot look on sin without judging it. There is no man without sin so God had to do it. He took on flesh as Jesus so that He could be the perfect sacrifice. Before Jesus, lambs without blemish were sacrificed as atonement for sin. Jesus is called the lamb of God and after His crucifixion, no more animals were sacrificed. I am learning not to be drawn into arguments where faith is concerned. Those people only want to argue, not learn. They have all their retorts about fairy tales and superstitions. They know very little about scripture. The scrolls of the Bible are on display in the Holy Land. The stories in the Bible have much deeper meanings that must be studied. The books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were written by disciples who were with Jesus during His time on earth. Miracles, the supernatural, and faith are important parts of Christianity. If we teach our kids that their ancestors crawled out of a pool of goop, how can we expect them to value themselves or others? I always wondered if that was true, how and why male and female? If it's just evolution that we have become so advanced does it follow that given enough time turkeys will be able to do math? If we descended from apes, why are there still apes? If there was a big bang what banged? Where did the stuff come from that exploded? Doesn't there have to be something eternal to explain how things began? OK - where was I?

Every moment of unconscious eating is a moment when you are starving from a lack of healthy self-love, and struggling to find it elsewhere. As your connection to love is repaired, you'll be freed from your compulsion to seek love from a source that only dishes out self-hate. It doesn't make you less powerful to acknowledge a Higher Power; it makes you more powerful, because it gives you access to the power of faith.

Faith is an aspect of consciousness; there is no such thing as a faithless person. Right now, you have plenty of faith. . .faith that you'll eat too much, no matter what you do. Faith that you'll never lose the weight and really keep it off. Faith that overeating is your only true friend, even though you know it's anything but your friend. The real question is, do you have more faith in the power of your problem or in the power of a miracle to solve it?

More tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Your Miracle

I haven't posted for a couple of days. I bought a car and have been doing all that's necessary with license plates, insurance, title, etc. I had Bible Study Fellowship last night and didn't get home until about 9 p.m.

Now the next suggested activity is building an altar. I am not there yet. The rest of the chapter has good information but I did not do the altar although I will tell you what was suggested.

The course is not so much about your relationship to food as it is about your relationship to your Creator. In healing your relationship to Him, you heal your relationship to yourself; and in healing your relationship to yourself, you heal your relationship to everything.

Our goal is that you have a miracle. By opening your mind to the possibility of a miracle, you pave the way for your experience of one.

It is suggested that you accept this fact:  that you cannot beat this problem by yourself. You cannot stop. You have no control over it. It is bigger than you are. If you could have done this by yourself, you would have done so by now.  Your freedom lies in accepting that which frightens you most:  that you are powerless to stop this problem, to fight it or to fix it. . .your compulsion to eat excessively is stronger than you are. . .you are so tired of this war you have fought against yourself that part of you would rather die than go on.  It's time to surrender the struggle now.

Your salvation in this area lies not in resisting the truth of your powerlessness before food, but rather in accepting it.  Your problem is bigger than you are, then perhaps something else is bigger that it. All your efforts have been for nothing when confronted by the demonic power of your compulsion to eat excessively.  I cannot, but God can!  I cannot, but God can! becomes your mantra. God is big enough to handle your problems - so you need not be.

In order to end your compulsive eating's reign of terror, you need a power that actually moves through your brain, changes your nervous system, changes your patterns and habits, changes your self-image, changes your thoughts about food, changes your thoughts about your body; and a myriad of other physical, emotional, and psychological factors. If you accept the possibility that a miracle could happen--then you permit your mind to experience one. Something you always intuited but were terrified to admit--that of yourself you don't have what it takes to lose your weight and keep it off permanently--becomes a relief. You don't, but God does.

The weight on your body is nothing compared to the weight on your heart.. . .the sadness, the shame, the despair, the weariness. You are carrying burdens you were not meant to carry and do not have to carry.

Perhaps you are someone who feels a need to sabotage yourself when things get too good. Perhaps you've made a subconscious decision that you should allow yourself only  this much success, or this much money, or this much physical beauty or happiness. There is a point past which the subconscious alarm starts blaring, "uh-oh! Too much good! Too much good! Your mustn't go there! Go back!" As in, go back into that limited condition where you belong. Don't you dare break free. If you break through that barrier, all hell will break loose! But in front of that barrier is where hell in fact has already broken loose. It is not enough to control your appetite; true healing involves dissolving the barrier, removing the false thi9nking that has kept you bound. Thee is no way to surrender your weight without surrendering your subconscious belief that you're better off weighing too much. Sometimes we're tempted to cap our good, afraid that what heppens when the cap is removed is too chaotic, too out-of-control a process. All that life energy coming at you is not a threat, but a gift; it's not a curse, but a blessing.

I will finish tomorrow.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Thin You/Not Thin You

It has been a long day. I am on call on weekends and today was kind of busy. This earning a living stuff gets in the way of my activities. I left at 9:30 this morning and got home about 6 p.m.

One of the chapters in the Marianne Williamson book involved getting to know and love the part of you that overeats. There is the you in which your basic identity is mixed with a healed heart and high self-esteem; that's you when you're happy, healthy, and successful. And then there is the you in which your basic identity is mixed with trauma and low self-worth; that's you when you're neurotic, compulsive, addictive, and so forth. What all these parts of you have in common is you. It does feel odd that we should honor a part of ourselves that we do not want, but Not-Thin You will not go away until she is listened to. She will not leave until you love yourself. All of yourself. Including her. Period. Does a parent love a troubled child less than the untroubled child? In accepting Not-Thin You, you are not accepting her weight, you are simply accepting her.

Part of your inner conflict is that while your conscious mind feels a level of disdain for Not-Thin You, your subconscious mind feels quite at home with her. On a subconscious level, you might feel more comfortable within a larger body. There is something you allow yourself when you are manifesting as Not-Thin You. At times she feels more like the "real" you. Consciously, you feel like Thin You is the real you, while Not-Thin You is the imposter; but subconsciously, you feel like Not-Thin You is the real you, and Thin You is the imposter.  You must begin a new relationship with a part of yourself you've kept out of your heart. For in keeping her out of your heart, you've kept her on your body.

The assignment is to write a letter to Not-Thin You. Tell Not-Thin You how much you hate her, how she has ruined your life, what she has done to your life.

As an aside - I did this even though as I said earlier this is a little more New Age that I am. I was surprised at the venom with which I wrote. The example in the book began with "Dear Fat Ass" - I did feel better after I wrote it.  Then you are to write a letter where you write what Thin You would say in return. It really is a helpful exercise.


Dear God,

Please forgive me if I have failed to love every part of Your creation.
Open my eyes that I might see, soften my heart that I might love, open my mind that I might understand every aspect of myself..
Heal my relationship with all of me, that I might suffer no more such violence toward myself.
Please help me, for by myself I cannot win this war.
Please lift me above the battlefield to the peace that lies beyond.
Thank you, God.


Friday, November 19, 2010


It's kind of late - 9 p.m. and I am just now getting to this. It's nice to be looking forward to a couple of days off. Next week is my last week of full-time and I am looking forward to getting back to my quilt club and beginning some exercising. I plan to do some yoga in the morning and then something with weights and aerobics later in the day.  "The Firm" has excellent videos that combine weights with aerobics. Building muscle will raise the basal metabolic rate and you will burn calories faster even when sitting still. Each pound of muscle on your body burns 10 calories per day to maintain itself, each pound of fat burns 2 - 3 calories per day.

Yo-Yo dieting can be a killer of your basal metabolic rate. When we lose weight too quickly our bodies will use some of our muscle tissue. So by dieting too hard, we can lose muscle thereby lowering our muscle mass. THEN when we go berserk because we have starved ourselves and gain the weight back plus some we gain back all fat so now our body composition is more fat than it was. If this cycle is repeated very many times you can see why it becomes more difficult to lose. Our basal metabolic rate is now lower.

And here is another real downer - when we hear a number like an hour of walking burns 350 calories - we think yeah how great am I? We would have burned calories anyway during that hour so the net calorie burn will not be 350 for that hour. So why do it?  It tones us up. It will increase our basal metabolic rate. We have done something besides sitting around. We sleep better. We have more energy. We have strengthened our heart and lungs (they are muscles too).

This is also why we shouldn't weigh I believe. We can tell if our clothes are looser. I know if I get on the scales and I have lost, I think wow I can eat. If I get on the scales and I have lost, I think what's the use I might as well eat. Either way the cue is to eat. We just need to change our lifestyle. My mother stays at a healthy weight. She doesn't eat after 6 p.m. She eats what she wants but eats slowly. She eats small amounts.

As I told you I ate out with my Inspirer. Get this. She said she just had a salad for lunch and was really ready to eat so she orders the meat loaf dinner. It arrives and she says it's too much. She takes about half of it home. I might ever. I remember while I was still teaching one of the natural slims was saying how little time we had for lunch and she didn't have time to eat all of the lunch she brought. I would watch the clock and eat faster if that was my situation. Remember your Inspirer is your teacher. I did take half of my sandwich home.

Remember - wait for the growl, eat what you want and what sounds good, stop when comfortably full. Don't eat again until the growl. Have a great weekend.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Didn't get an entry made yesterday. I went out for dinner with my Inspirer in this journey. What I am reading says each of us needs an Inspirer - this is a person who may never have had a weight problem but understands and supports what you are doing. This person encourages and doesn't judge. This person is your teacher. Food is not an issue with your Inspirer. You have always noticed how this person effortlessly stays at a healthy weight. Each of us also needs a Permitter. This is a person who shares your struggle but hasn't made the decision to do this as you have done. This person doesn't resent you for doing this and wants what is best for you. There is no tension between the two of you - only positive good will. Neither of you feels bad that you may be leaving your Permitter behind as far as weight loss is concerned.

Let's talk about being alone. We are alone when we overeat. Being alone with our compulsion will not end well. We don't want people around when we are binging. This is fear. If we are going to eat a whole bag of anything we want to be alone. A day filled with love will leave no room for fear. When you begin to feel weak or become afraid of slipping up make a phone call either to give love or to talk to someone, send an email, go visit someone but don't sit around and try to fight it - you will lose. Be proactive. Your Inspirer and your Permitter are good choices for some human contact. As you go through your day be more loving to everyone, really care about them and notice their needs.

The goal is still to wait for the growl before eating, then eat what sounds good, and stop when comfortably full. Did anyone watch the Weigh Down video last night? Please let me know what you thought of it.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Wall of Protection

Weight can be a physical manifestation of a need to keep others at bay. We build a wall for protection and each brick  means something:  shame, anger, fear, unforgiveness, judgment, disdain, excess responsibility, pressure, exhaustion, burden, stress, heartbreak, injustice, protection, pride, selfishness, jealousy, greed, laziness, separation, dishonesty, arrogance, inferiority, embarrassment, self-abnegation.

The weight we are seeking to let go of was added to our consciousness before it was added to our bodies. When the weight is gone from our consciousness, it will be gone from our physical experience. In asking God to remove the cause, we automatically remove the effect. What is unique about our situation is that for whatever reason, these thoughts or feelings have become frozen within us and are not being processed properly. We are failing to assimilate an experience and let it go. Painful experiences are not meant to linger. They are meant to teach us what they need to teach us, and then dissolve into the realm of soft-focus memory. We have subconsciously tried to get rid of these thoughts and feelings by eating them. If I can't process my sadness, perhaps I can eat my sadness. If I can't process my anger, perhaps I can eat my anger.

There are only two categories of thoughts--those of love and those of fear--and the only way to transcend fear is to replace it with love. As we identify fear thoughts and then surrender them to God, love emerges naturally. When thoughts that lead us to overeat are surrendered, then those that lead us to wholesome eating come forth to take their place. The pain has been pushed into our flesh. Now we are remembering that we can make another choice:  we can look at our pain, and then release it to One in Whose hands it will dissolve forever.

Here is your first assignment. Begin a journal and write out each word that represents a brick in your wall. Do this thoughtfully and don't rush. Look at your darkness so you can see your light.

I am ashamed of  ______________________. Perhaps you acted foolishly, and cringe to think that other people still remember.

I am angry at  ______________________.  Perhaps you feel unfairly treated, and have not released all your anger at the meanness of others. Or perhaps you have not forgiven yourself for self-sabotaging behavior in the past that affects your life now.

I am afraid of  __________________________.  Perhaps you carry a secret fear of loss, of tragedy, and have not yet learned to release it to God.

I haven't forgiven  ________________________.  Perhaps there is someone who betrayed your heart and you have not been able to forgive him or her yet.

I judge  _____________________.  Perhaps you think that others are behaving in ways they shouldn't, and you think and/or speak of them in negative terms.

I feel disdain for  ________________________.  Perhaps there are those who disagree with you, and you hold contempt for their beliefs and actions.

I am responsible for  ________________________.  Perhaps you carry the burden of thinking you're responsible for things that are out of your control.

I feel so pressured about  _______________________.  Perhaps you feel that at home, at work, as a lover, as a friend, as an employee, or as a parent, you're carrying more pressure than you can stand.

I am exhausted because __________________________.  Perhaps you feel physically, mentally, and emotiojnally so tired that you can hardly stand to awaken some days.

I am burdened by  ________________________.  Perhaps you are carrying a pain in your heart that lies heavy upon and weighs you down.

I am stressed by  ___________________________.

My heart is heavy because  _____________________________.

It isn't fair that I  _________________________________.

I feel I need protection from  _________________________________.

I am prideful when  _______________________________.

I am selfish when  _____________________________.

I get jealous when  __________________________________.

I get greedy when  ______________________________.

I am lazy when  ______________________________.

I feel separate from  __________________________________.

I don't feel that I can be honest about  _____________________________.

I am better than  ___________________________________.

I feel not as good as  ______________________________.

I am embarrassed because  __________________________________.

I have built this wall so that others won't hate me for being beautiful and successful and seeming to have it all  __________________________________________.

Dear God,

Please remove the wall that I have built around me.
I have built it so strong, dear God, that I cannot tear it down.
I surrender to You every thought of separation, every feeling of fear, every unforgiving thought.
Please, dear God, take this burden from me forever.


My growl came at about 9:30 a.m. this morning.  I didn't receive any reports. Keep on but don't beat yourself up.

Monday, November 15, 2010


I have been a compulsive eater, a compulsive dieter, a compulsive exerciser, a compulsive shopper - I don't know when to quit. If I get hooked on a flower like a daylily I think I must have every color available. What is it with me? One of the things I really hate is how much I think about food and eating. I have friends who tell me that they forget to eat. Are you kidding me? I watch the clock for when it is "time" to eat. We should only be eating when our stomach growls. That doesn't sound so hard but believe me it is. It gets easier with practice. It also means that we cannot plan or control because we don't know when our stomach will growl. People tell me that it becomes easier to get to growling if small amounts are eaten. It also may take a while the first time because we have been eating so much each time. So here's the goal - tomorrow let's all wait to eat the first time of the day until we get a good, strong growl. Remember the growl is above the waist where the stomach is. Email me the time and I will let everyone know. What you do the rest of the day is up to you. If we can get in the habit of waiting for the growl, we may only be eating 1 or 2 times a day because we have extra meals stored on our bodies. Our bodies will be moving fat into the bloodstream to be used as fuel which is what we want. Now don't pull a Myra and think "I better eat a bunch tonight if I have to wait for a growl tomorrow". You will growl sooner if you don't do that. If you go to the Weigh Down web site there is a free session Wednesday evening I believe. You can tune in at your computer and watch it. Gwen is very good and encouraging. My email is myrabaldwin@netzero.net - pray for strength, that God will calm you, and help you keep things in perspective.

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Back to the idolatry thing - I have formed an idolatrous relationship with food. It is from being greedy (wanting more than I need) - read Ephesians 5:5 again. I have given powers that belong only to God to food and eating. We overeaters have come to believe the lie that food that is actually bad for us has the power to comfort, nurture, and sustain us. We must correct the lie. Only God can do these things. Compulsive eating involves two things: compulsion and food. We cannot end our compulsive eating by substituting another compulsive practice (like dieting).

Only the power of love can overcome the power of hate, and make no mistake about it:  our unhealthy eating is an act of self-hate. Overeating is a form of violence, and one of the mechanisms we are now dismantling is the habit of taking up the sword against ourselves--whether the sword be knife or fork.

We must commit to be kind to ourselves. Overeating is an emotionally violent act, and scolding ourselves for having done it is just inflicting further violence. Do not despair at slip-ups. They will become less and less frequent as we become less afraid and become more loving toward ourselves and others.

We must admit the truth that we have been resisting - we don't have the human capacity to fix this problem. In realizing the we can't heal ourselves, we will begin to consider Who can.

Dear God,

I praise you God for the mercy You have shown me
I have been greedy and idolatrous and I ask Your forgiveness
Thank you God for not giving me what I deserve and loving me in spite of my sin
I repent God and ask that you strengthen me in this battle
May each day find me more obedient to Your signals for hunger and fullness.
Only You can comfort and sustain me


Saturday, November 13, 2010

Drug of Choice

Today has gone pretty well. Last night was horrible. I do believe that overeating is violence against oneself. I look at myself and I am not happy yet I am the one who did it to my body. So why don't I quit? I have said that as long as I stay heavy, I cannot say anything about someone who drinks or uses drugs. Food is just my drug of choice. I have been searching my past to try and figure this thing out.

What Is Our Fear?

On your own, you might have changed your conscious thinking, but you alone cannot change your subconscious. And unless your subconscious mind is enrolled in your weight-loss efforts, it will find a way to reconstitute the excess weight regardless of what you do. Spirit alone has the power to positively and permanently reprogram both your conscious and subconscious mind.

It might seem odd to consider that fear is the source of your weight problem, and yet it is. As your mind is trained to let go of its fear, your body will let go of its excess pounds. It is not about your relationship with food; it is about your relationship with love. For love is your true healer. And miracles occur naturally in the presence of love.

Sometimes we need to admit the darkness within us, and at other times we need to admit the light. At the deepest level, it is not your food obsession that you most need to admit to yourself. At the deepest level, it is the memory of your Divine Light that you most need to admit to yourself. . .the light of God that lives within you as the gift that it is;  the solution to every problem, even this one.

The prayer:

Dear God,

Please free me from false appetites and take away my pain.

Take from me my compulsive self, and show me who I am.

Dear God,

Please give me a new beginning.

Unchain my heart so I might live a freer life at last.


Friday, November 12, 2010

The Night Lie

 The Night Lie

Satan has most people just where he wants them:  deceived, year after year after year. You go to bed every night determined to be different. You get up every morning with the same resolve. You pray, and yet, at the end of the day and at the last minute you are presented by satan an opportunity to eat, and you make a rash decision. You have some thought that eating will be comforting and rest your body. You have some personal lie that grants you permission to either eat when you are not hungry or to eat beyond full. It allows you  to lust at night--just this one last time. This deceitful lie tells you to go ahead this time; it tells you that you can just eat a little and stop there. There will be no damage done. You go to bed disgusted and wake up to be different and believe that you will be different--so you don't feel too bad. Then you look up and you have listened to a circle of lies for 10, 20, 30 years or more. You are not changing. Your faith is not stronger.

But the truth is that you are not good at stopping when you are eating, because you were not hungry to start with; and if you are not hungry, where is full? You cannot find it when you are not hungry.  You are feeding head hunger and greed, and greed has no satiation. You have to use your own willpower to stop, and for most, willpower is slowly disappearing, because you can't seem to stop anyway. You do not ask God in on a late-night binge--you try not to know that you are doing it yourself. You are trying to deceive even yourself--so you eat quickly. You feel you must take care of yourself, that the food might not be there for you. This day you are going to eat because tomorrow you are going to eat a lot less. But then you don't. After years of this, don't you see that you are deceived by a set of lies that work on you?

How could the same lies work on someone every day? How have you managed to binge every night and wake up every day resolved to be different and yet are no different and if anything, greedier? How does someone fall for the lie at night? How could someone be so afraid to have a day that has less greed, less food, less lust, less shopping? What is this fear?  You need faith.

The above is from Weigh Down Workshop. If any of you reading this would like to take the beginning class "Exodus Out of Egypt" I would be glad to lead it. It is an 8 - week course. They want at least 3 people and the leader. The first time through is about $150 - you get the workbook, a set of CD's to listen to, and 8 weeks of class.  Class time consists of watching the video that week and discussion. The second time through is $75 and then classes are free. You would just need to purchase class materials. Let me know if any are interested. You can also take this class on-line but I like the support of others.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Two (or three) Heads Are Better Than One

Veteran's Day. We see stories of American heroes everywhere on this day. The Wounded Warriors Project has an especially touching commercial. I signed up. Glad to give $19 a month. Many of them have given arms and legs.

Anyway - today has been a good day. I had breakfast with Mom at Carver's and we split a breakfast. I had a muffin with some peanut butter on it and grapes for lunch and had a banana at about 4 p.m. I will probably have a salad if hunger comes around later.

I must give credit to a couple of places where I am getting some of my information. Weigh Down Workshop founded by Gwen Shamblin has online classes. Just Google it and you will get there to look around. Gwen says you don't have to be religious to do this. We are all religious (do you have faith that you will overeat again?) I also have "A Course in Weight Loss" by Marianne Williamson. I am really enjoying the book and listening to her CD's as I drive my 300 miles a day on my route. She is a little more "New Age" than I am but my attitude is to take what I can use or what speaks to me and leave the rest.  Something she brings out really spoke to me - the only two emotions are love and fear.

What are we afraid of that keeps these pounds on us? I recommend Williamson's course. It's very good.

Neither poor diet nor lack of exercise is the cause of excess weight. Mind is cause; body is effect. The cause of excess weight is in the mind.

The cause of excess weight is fear, which is a place in the mind where love is blocked.

Fear expresses itself as subconscious urges, which then express themselves as either excessive and/or unhealthy eating habits and/or resistance to proper exercise. The ultimate effect of this--that is, excess weight--will only be permanently and fundamentally healed when the fear itself is rooted out.

Gwen Shamblin's philosophy is to wait for the growl and then eat what you want - stop when comfortable. Do not eat again until God's internal signal to eat occurs - the growl. God does not want us to put too much food in the body - it messes up what He made.

This is where my fear comes in. I get really anxious when I know I am getting empty but have not growled yet. I try to interpret every feeling within as a growl. How pathetic is that? Am I going to die? The growl will be above the waistline not below. Your stomach is up there.

OK - then I eat too fast. Why? Shouldn't I keep it in my mouth longer to truly chew and taste it?  The stomach cannot taste. Am I afraid I will get full before I eat all I want?

We have a lot of work to do folks.  Here's the prayer:

Dear God,

Please forgive me if I have failed to love every part of Your creation.
Open my eyes that I might see, soften my heart that I might love, open my mind that I might understand every aspect of myself.
Heal my relationship with all of me, that I might suffer no more such violence toward myself.
Please help me, for by myself I cannot win this war.
Please lift me above the battlefield to the peace that lies beyond.
Thank you God - Amen

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

New Beginning

I have made a career out of food and eating. If you want to follow along as I try to find my way - welcome.

First, I think, we must think about overeating as greed, which is idolatry. Read Ephesians 5:5. Repentance is how we begin. This is our first prayer. You may want to write these down. There will be more.

I am not weighing myself. That's not the problem. It's my mind. It's my heart.  The body itself is completely neutral. It causes nothing; it is completely an effect, not a cause.

Dear God,
Please free me from false appetites and take away my pain.
Take from me my compulsive self, and show me who I am.
Please give me a new beginning.
Unchain my heart so I might live a freer life at last.