Weight loss support with a spiritual element. I will keep you posted on my journey in the hopes that you will join me in becoming the person God wants you to be. Don't worry about being religious. Come as you are.

Friday, December 31, 2010

Our Body is not the Enemy

The way he treats his body, you’d think he was renting.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

Our longest and deepest relationship is with our body.

If you treated your friends and family the way you treat your body, you would lose them all.

There are almost 3,000 artificial additives in food. Every time you eat or drink something that has a name you cannot spell, every time you cannot picture that ingredient in your mind's eye, you have ingested poison. The more toxic food and drink you ingest, the harder your body has to work to clear it out. If you eat and drink only junk food every day for years and years, your brain and body are losing the battle and you are developing illness. 

We are all spiritual beings in physical bodies. Whether or not you believe in God or eternity does not matter. What matters is that you understand that you are MORE than your physical self. You are a song, and a prayer, and a tear and more. You are original thought. You are  creator. You love, you learn. These are not physical traits. The state of your physical being does not change these truths.

Your body is not your enemy; it hasn't sabotaged your pleasure. It doesn't deserve your hate. You pour toxic poisonous food into it and your body works endlessly to clean it out.

And to heal. And when you do it gain, your body starts the whole process over.

Your body never says to you, "I hate what you're feeding me, I hate you." Instead, your body says, "I will make energy from what you have given me. I will move you closer to whatever you desire with the energy I make. I will gulp bad air and poisonous food and I will sit in one position even though it causes me pain,  if that is what you want me to do. I am here to serve you. I am your best and oldest friend in this lifetime. I know you when you are tired, and sad, and when you hate me, I will still take what you give me and make energy for you. I love you. I forgive you, I'm sorry if what I do is not enough. Thank you for being one with me."

Obese people have become enemies to their bodies. They view their bodies as traitors, ugly horrible things that have failed them.

Do you know the words to "Amazing Grace"?

Amazing grace how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now am found
Was blind but now I see

May your life be blessed in the new year. Let us all repent of the sin of gluttony. Read Ephesians 5:5 again. Our new year's resolution is not to lose weight, exercise, etc. Our new year's resolution is to be obedient and to trust in God.  Stay in the moment. Today is what matters. Tomorrow has enough troubles of its own.

Thursday, December 30, 2010

We Deserve to be Thin

The best day of your life is the one on which you decide your life is your own.  No apologies or excuses.  No one to lean on, rely on, or blame.  The gift is yours - it is an amazing journey - and you alone are responsible for the quality of it.  This is the day your life really begins.  ~Bob Moawad

Love, and love only, produces miracles. If you love your body when you're thin but hate it when you're not, then you love yourself conditionally, which is not love at all. If you can't love your body, you can't really love yourself. 

What are you hating your body for? For being overweight? It didn't do this to you; you did this to it! You haven't been abused by your body; your body has been abused by you. And yet, unlike you, it has continued to hold up its side of the relationship. It has continued to function as best it can, even though you have made it harder. It has borne excess pounds, even though it has been a burden to do so. And it has continued to support you, even though you have often failed to support it.

Is it your body you hate, or its size? And since all negative emotions derive from fear, if you hate your body, you must fear something. What is that? Do you fear ridicule? Or is your deeper fear--one that overrides your fear of being overweight--a fear that you'll be punished if you try to "play big" in life? Again, what are you afraid of?

Do you actually hate your body at all? Or have you simply learned to hate it because others hurt you so much when you were thin?

Can you remember who the first person was who envied, hated, or judged your body? Do you remember the moment you looked at your body and made a quick decision to cover it up? Was the only way to feel you "belonged" in your family to eat as excessively as your parents and siblings did? Was the only way to feel loved in your family to be as overweight as they were? Were you considered hoity-toity or stuck-up  if you sought a thinner, healthier body? Was there a particular person who either looked at you strangely or said something off-color when you were a child, making you feel shame at the thought of a beautiful body? At what point did you subconsciously decide that you didn't deserve to be thin?

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Right Relationship With Food

If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.  ~Author Unknown

Reality check:  you can never, ever, use weight loss to solve problems that are not related to your weight.  At your goal weight or not, you still have to live with yourself and deal with your problems.  You will still have the same husband, the same job, the same kids, and the same life.  Losing weight is not a cure for life.  ~Phillip C. McGraw, The Ultimate Weight Solution: The 7 Keys to Weight Loss Freedom, 2003

Don't dig your grave with your own knife and fork.  ~English Proverb

One should eat to live, not live to eat.  ~Cicero, Rhetoricorum LV

Gluttony is an emotional escape, a sign something is eating us.  ~Peter De Vries

In time the body will not only register the kick of cake but also the fog that comes to the mind, the manic state it produces, and finally the physical sluggishness. If we persevere, we will begin not to want to go there. Self- care will be more important than self-destruction.

Our bodies don't want to be sick. Our bodies don't want to be fat. Just as our hearts know how to beat and our lungs know how to breath, our bodies know how to calibrate weight to that which serves maximal functioning. Artificial substances have created artificial appetites and when natural substances are reintroduced into the body, then natural appetites will come again to the fore. Just give it a chance and keep working at it.

The assignment is to go to the store and buy one piece of fruit. Buy nothing else. Buy a beautiful, perfect piece of fruit. Take it home and wash it. The second thing is to look at it. This part of creation is majestic like a mountain and beautiful like a flower. How can we improve on God? Chemically processed food is not preferable to this fruit before you. There is perfection in nature, perfection in you, and perfection in food as nature created it. Natural food will calm and restore us physically.

Once again, if you are still compelled to eat chemically processed food, then eat it. The enemy is not the food and the enemy is not you; the enemy is your obsession to eat unhealthy food and to eat it excessively. And that's OK for now. The obsessive enemy will begin to dissolve as you learn to become more of a friend to yourself.

Refined, chemically processed foods can give you a temporary high--that is understood. But then, if eaten excessively, they give you discomfort, sickness, despair, embarrassment, and self-hatred. You know that, but take a moment--just a moment--to truly think about what it means. Remember that speed is your enemy, whether speed eating or speed thinking. Allow yourself to digest what it means that unhealthy eating is destroying your life.

Don't worry now about saying no to what you don't want; just try to say yes--however weak--to what is offered to you by nature's bounty. People used to eat the food that they themselves grew. There was season, proportion, and rhythm to food's presence in people's lives. Animals instinctively know what to eat, and so does the real you. You're not listening to your body's wisdom when you overeat; you are overriding your body's wisdom when you overeat. You're listening to the chatter in your mind but not to the imperatives of your body. And as you get to know your body again, as you begin to relate to it with greater respect and honor, then your relationship to its natural support system will grow stronger as well. For that is what food is--the body's support system. It maintains health and keeps the body alive. To abuse it is to abuse your body, and to abuse your body is to abuse yourself.

Pray to be returned to your right relationship with food. Eat this piece of fruit and enjoy it slowly and thankfully staying focused on it's taste, texture, and its support of your health and well-being.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

It Won't Be Today

More die in the United States of too much food than of too little.  ~John Kenneth Galbraith, The Affluent Society

Have you ever noticed how many of us are obese? It is especially disturbing to notice how many kids are obese. Who/What is at fault? We hear in the news of McDonald's being forbidden to offer toys in happy meals. The government is trying to legislate what we eat. Do they really think that passing laws, adding taxes, creating more bureaucracy will make one iota of difference? Michelle Obama will fail at this. But Democrats are all about the nanny state - entitlements/bailouts/handouts - doing for others what they should do for themselves only makes them dependent. We are so used to not being accountable and independent that when there is something only we can do for ourselves we cannot find the will or the way.

Without a doubt we are too heavy as a nation and it is becoming an epidemic if it isn't already. Something/Someone outside of us cannot change our eating habits or determine what we eat. There are companies that plan to base the employee contribution to health care premiums on body mass index - the heavier the person the more that person will have to pay toward the premium. I can see this working to some extent but the motivation will be money not health but who cares if the person loses weight?

All the warnings about diabetes, heart disease, cholesterol, early death, amputations, blindness don't scare us enough to cause a change in behavior. The smoker isn't concerned enough about cancer, heart attack, emphysema, and all that to quit. I had an aunt who loved her cigarettes and was dying of emphysema- she was on oxygen - she took off her oxygen to smoke a cigarette. I had an uncle who would take more insulin so he could eat sugar. I was standing in the hall one day between classes with one of the English teachers and he told me he thought the reason people don't change their bad habits is the "it won't be today" mentality.  It won't be today I'm diagnosed with cancer. It won't be today that I have a heart attack. 

Remember that day after tomorrow, tomorrow will be yesterday.



Sunday, December 26, 2010

Just Do It!

There is no need to wait until we are doing well on a diet (4 letter word), losing weight, or even enthusiastic about any part of this journey - just go ahead with doing what needs to be done. I have a son who is a weight lifter and has been since high school (he is now 33). He does his lifting even if he doesn't feel well. He does his lifting even if he has been cutting wood all day. He does his lifting even if the Wellness Center will be closed that night - he will set an alarm and go in and lift at 6 a.m. He holds the school bench press record - 410 lbs. He broke the record at 360 lbs. and kept breaking his own record until he got it to 410 lbs. when he graduated. Does he always feel like lifting? I doubt it. Would he rather be doing something else at times? Sure. Why do we start whining if we don't lose 5 or 10 pounds each week? People who achieve a goal are willing to do whatever it takes. They keep on even when they don't feel like it. They don't quit if there is a setback or a time when they see no results. We are into drama. We are pretty good at making excuses. We would like people to think we have the slowest metabolism on the planet or even better - a glandular problem. It is our desk job (we sit too much); do we forget that there are many people with desk jobs who are not fat? We even act "naughty" and tell of our food indiscretions and those people will always help us feel better about it and even return the favor by telling us of their food indiscretions - even with a "can you top this?" attitude. One thing that has been sickening to me are these eating contests - wolfing down food to win a contest of some kind.

Anyway - let's think back to diets of the past. Remember when you started out and this time was going to be it. That first week was a pretty nice loss. The second week was not quite that much but you were carried through it because it was still new. At about the third or fourth week you were down into the real fat - not just water weight - this fat has gotten used to its home and is going to fight to stay there. The initial high has begun to wear off and with our "all or none" mindset that first slip is the beginning of the end. We gain back our weight plus a little more. How many times has this happened?

Don't diet. Wait for the growl. Eat what you want until satisfied. Wait until the growl before eating again. Eat slowly enjoying the food. Just open your eyes to what's actually happening and the day will come when you will simply no longer wish to hurt yourself. You will no longer want to overeat. You will be done with that, and something new will begin.

Probably nothing in the world arouses more false hopes than the first four hours of a diet.  ~Dan Bennett

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Eating Well

Our problem may not be that we eat so often, but that we do not eat well. Particularly in today's world, while it's easy to eat poorly, it's unnecessary. Today we're in the midst of a food revolution, and that is very good news for the compulsive overeater. Is it always easy, convenient, or inexpensive to make wise food choices? Perhaps not. But let's be very clear; it isn't easy, convenient, or inexpensive to be a food addict either. It's pretty expensive to be sick also. It isn't time to deny ourselves but rather to gift ourselves.

It's sad to realize, but the people who spend the most time with food tend to not be those taking cooking classes, learning creative recipes, or even eating the best meals. Even if the overeater is going to a fine restaurant in the evening, the chances are good he/she will have stuffed the body with so much junk food by late afternoon that the actual succulence of eating a good dinner and truly enjoying it will be denied. By the time the meal is eaten, the overeater will be feeding the psychological appetite, perhaps, but not the stomach, because it's already full. When it comes to the actual joy of eating, the overeater tends to be deprived.

Impatience is nothing but the fear mind trying to convince us it's hopeless and therefore we shouldn't even try. It's also the voice that tells us to eat the next bite before we've even finished chewing the last one, so remember that that voice is not our friend. We must be our friend now. And a friend is kind, so despite whatever self-disgust we feel, it is important that we be kind to ourselves.  We've turned unhealthy eating into a ritual, a kind of magical and secret ceremony in which we've looked to the darkness for what the darkness cannot provide.

There are many reasons, certainly, for why we might eat like an army is chasing us. Maybe we feel guilty about eating whatever we're eating and want to get it over with fast so no one sees us. Maybe there is so much despair associated with eating anything that we eat quickly in an effort to eat the despair. Maybe as a child we had to eat quickly simply in order to get enough food. Whatever the reason, bringing it forward is the first step toward becoming free of it. Use the tools in all this blog from the beginning. JUST DO IT!!!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Genuine Love

Food is not only our problem; it is our teacher. It is a reflection of an even deeper problem, an opportunity and an invitation to face that which underlies our compulsive eating. The only real problem--everyone's only real problem--is separation from God. Every step taken with love in mind is a step back to who we really are.

We need to put genuine love back into our relationship with food; not counterfeit love, not substitute love, but genuine love. Love and gratitude that food nourishes and sustains us. Love and gratitude that meals can build bonds among families and friends. Love and gratitude that food is something we can have the right to enjoy, once we learn to relate to it with Divine detachment.

Detachment means that we can take it or leave it; we can enjoy food if we are hungry, but we can leave it alone if we are not. Love, as always, is the key to making things right. By learning to love food, we will stop obsessing about it. And the obsession, not the food, is the actual problem.

Obsession, whether toward a substance or a person, occurs when we are open to giving and yet don't know how to receive. We keep grasping for more because we are not feeling anything coming back. As a child, perhaps, nothing was coming back, so now  we keep trying to get more of something we are already convinced isn't really there. As we build a relationship with food that does give back, we will begin to experience a relationship in which love has replaced obsession.

The only way to attain healthy neutrality toward food is by learning to love it, and the only food we can really love is food that loves us back.

Does a hot fudge sundae love us, do we think? It's true that it can give us a momentary high, but so can crystal meth. No, hot fudge sundaes do not love us. They are full of sugar and processed chemicals that bring anything but love. Those things feed cancer, increase cholesterol, decrease growth hormones, weaken eyesight, interfere with protein absorption, cause food allergies, contribute to diabetes and cardiovascular disease, impair the structure of DNA, create difficulty concentrating, reduce defenses again infectious diseases, lead to osteoporosis, and more. Should we call any of these things love?

This is not to say that eating a hot fudge sundae is forbidden forever. It is to say that as we move toward becoming our best, we won't want to eat a whole hot fudge sundae - the experience will not longer feel like love. Foods that love us in return are foods that contribute to our well-being.

Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Love Affair

Start a Love Affair With Food

Yes - you read it correctly. I remember one time we were having a celebration of some kind in class and a naturally thin student was aggravated that she could not eat any of it because she was not hungry. She said it made her mad. I do not understand that. AT ALL.

Anyway - about the love affair with food. It's time for us to start a real love affair with food. How many times have I wanted something to eat and just grabbed whatever was there - eat peanut butter out of the jar, eat cold leftovers, or grabbed some cookies or chips. I used to be so hungry when I got home from school that I would be eating something before I had taken my coat off. I was almost frantic to eat something. We need to change our routine when we get home if that is a problem. Sit down and go through the mail. Have a diet coke and relax. It really does help if you change the routine when you get home. When we are getting home we changing from one routine to another - change up that transition time and it really does help. Our secretary at school said she would lie on the floor in her bedroom with her lower legs on the bed and just relax for a while. She said it was like taking a nap. I guess it got some blood and oxygen to her brain.

What we've had up to now is an obsessive relationship with food, and an obsessive relationship is not love. Pain and compulsion and self-hate are not love. The true lover of food is able to take time with it. That person can savor food, and non-neurotically delight in it. He/She can chew it thoroughly and actually taste it - can eat without guilt and stop eating without too great an effort. He/She can celebrate how food is contributing to health. This person can take one bite of something delicious, ecstatically breathe in the taste, and enjoy waiting before taking another bite. For this person, the spaces in between each bite are part of the joy of her experience.

No - the compulsive eater is no lover of food. The eating patterns of an over-eater are chaotic, fearful, furtive, and out of control. These are symptoms of a deeper problem. The deeper problem is the hysteria in our guts--the silent, traumatized shriek of "I'm empty! Fill me! I'm empty, Fill me!"--the irrational and irresistible energy that has wormed its way into the brain, stationed itself in our nervous systems, and won't let go until we've eaten the whole thing. Let's dissolve this hysteria and fill the emptiness with love.

We often have an "all or nothing" mentality - if we are not totally 100% successful we view it as failure. We can't win that way. Have you made improvement? Really think about that - have you experienced a growling stomach more than you used to? Are you eating more slowly? Drinking more water? If I asked you to write down 10 strengths and 10 weaknesses, which would be the easier list?

Monday, December 20, 2010

Wasting Time

I have been thinking about how much time I waste.  How often do I just sit and think about what I should be doing rather just getting up and getting started? I know some very productive people. They are not covered up with projects, have a clean house, exercise, and still have time to relax. I have cited a lot from Marianne Williamson's work. She says in her book that rather than thinking in terms of "I must clean up this room" she just makes something right each time she goes into that room because mess and clutter are signs of a distressed mind. I would probably avoid that room. Now some people set aside a day each week and clean house. I clean house when I have people coming over and then I don't do it very well. I am so pathetic :-) I have been perfecting my skills of getting Duane and Nathan to do things - dropping hints and pointing out things that need to be done has had some positive results. The person reading this who cleans her house every Tuesday had better not rat me out - you know who you are.

Saturday, December 18, 2010


Remember:  Our beauty already exists in the mind of God, and the more we claim it as already existing, the more quickly it will materialize. Our bodies today are the products of yesterday's thinking; as our thoughts change today, our bodies will be different tomorrow.

Own the power of your imagination. Do not be limited in any way at all by what you think of as possible, probable, or logical. You want a beautiful body? Go for it. Imagine it. Allow the image to permeate your consciousness, Embrace it. Do not hold it at bay. You want a bodybuilder's physique? Go for it. Embrace it. Own it. Open up the prison of your mind, and for once, with full permission given by yourself to yourself, allow yourself to want what you really want. If you ask yourself what you want and the answer is a second bowl of ice cream or a second slice of  cake. then ask yourself what you really want. You will find that as you own your desire for the body of your dreams, your desire for that second bowl of ice cream will begin to wane.

Dear God,

Please deliver me to my own true self.
Please make of my body a perfect container for who You created me to be.
And teach me how to live within it in happiness and peace.


Friday, December 17, 2010


I thought today about New Year's Resolutions. We tend to make them these grand, sweeping things like I will lose all my extra weight this year. We know that won't happen. We just want an excuse to let us eat whenever and whatever we want and as much as we want because on January 1 things are going to be different. How can we keep falling for that?

I think lifestyle changes would make better resolutions. What if our resolution would be "I will exercise at least 3 times a week"? Is that realistic? Yes it is. What if our resolution is "I will drink at least 6 glasses of water on at least 5 days each week"?

I will not eat potato chips out of the bag.
I will send notes of encouragement or make an encouraging phone call to 2 people each week.
I will pay off a credit card this year and will not add to my debt. I will either use cash or my debit card for all purchases.
My finances will gradually become 10% of gross pay for giving, 10% for saving, and live on the rest.

You can probably come up with many more. Let's make our goals a better life lived with a good attitude and a desire for what's best for others and for ourselves.

One Slip Can Lead to Another

I have been really lax about my posting. I have also been slipping somewhat with the eating. It all goes together and we must be vigilant not to fall back into old ways. Looking at positive things in the overall picture though, I do not binge like I used to. I can remember in college spending many dollars in vending machines when I was completely out of control. Sweets are not the demon they used to be and I am waiting for the growl so much more than before. We can beat this. One of the best things about this is that starting over is just to wait for the next growl. Push the restart button and get back at it.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Getting Off to a Good Start

I have been doing pretty well. I have been making it a point to start the day out right and spend time in scripture and prayer. When I tell God I will wait for the growl before eating all day I am really convicted if straying crosses my mind. Waiting is not as threatening as it once was. I must get back to exercising. I also do better if I take the time to put on some make-up, do my hair, and dress up a little. It adds some self-confidence. When I wear sweats all day, don't do anything for my appearance, etc., I tend to be lax with eating as well. Have you ever stayed in your pajamas all day - bad move. I know Duane's mother was heavy but always pretty. She would get dressed up, put on her make-up, and look good if she was going to get a gallon of milk. I shudder to think of how I have gone to the store at times hoping I wouldn't see anyone I knew.

Monday, December 13, 2010


One of the ways you love yourself is by permitting yourself to want what you want. One of the reasons people consume anything too much is because they don't consume other things enough. You tend to take in too much material substance when you are starving yourself of spiritual substance. Overeating is an act of spiritual starvation.

The sensual aspect of your body is a spiritual gift; experiencing it is part of the glory of being human. Deep down you want the experience of a waistline; you want the experience of a lighter body. You want the experience of self-love in its totality. It is not just your right but also your purpose on Earth to become the person you long to be. You don't long to be a victim; you long to be good, healthy, and creative. You long to feel the fun of a fit body and the joy of being able to run around with your children and grandchildren. You long to have a non-obsessive relationship with food, and you long to look in the mirror and like what you see.

No one but you is denying yourself these experiences, and your facing that fact--that you are cruel to you, that you are withholding from you, that you are harming you--is both horrifying and liberating to look squarely in the eye. Have you bludgeoned yourself enough yet, do you think? Have you figured out yet what you did to deserve this? And are you ready for a miracle?

I have an Oswald Chambers Devotional Bible - today's reading is very good.

What Are You Haunted By?

What are you haunted by? You will say--By nothing, but we are all haunted by something, generally by ourselves, or, if we are Christians, by our experience. The psalmist says we are to be haunted by God. The abiding consciousness of the life is to be God, not thinking about Him. The whole of our life inside and out is to be absolutely haunted by the presence of God. A child's consciousness is so mother-haunted that although the child is not consciously thinking of its mother, yet when calamity arises, the relationship that abides is that of the mother. So we are to live and move and have our being in God, to look at everything in relation to God, because the abiding consciousness of God pushes itself to the front all the time.

If we are haunted by God, nothing else can get in, no cares, no tribulation, no anxieties. We see now why our Lord so emphasized the sin of worry. How can we dare be so utterly unbelieving when God is round about us? To be haunted by God is to have an effective barricade against all the onslaughts of the enemy.

Sunday, December 12, 2010


This is a continuation of December 8.

If you feel afraid of the world, you feel a perverse comfort in a body that keeps the world at a distance. And that is where the real you comes in. The real you loves the world and doesn't want to keep it at a distance. You are here to love the world and for the world to love you. The real you doesn't perceive that fact within a sexual context, but within a spiritual one. The purity of your spirituality heals the toxicity of any sexual impurity in your past. Your real self is eternally innocent and eternally chaste. Nothing you have ever done and nothing that anyone has ever done to you could make imperfect what God created perfect. What God has created is both changeless and forever. The goodness and purity of your essential self is guaranteed for all time.

Your body at its perfect shape and weight already exists within Divine Mind, the realm of pure possibility, because all that is perfect dwells in Divine possibility. As an overweight person, you have given birth to the body of your suffering; it's time now to give birth to the body of your joy. The real you is not afraid of being thin, because she knows the real world is not a dangerous place and the real world is where she lives. The real world is simply love. The world is not made better by your hiding out, spiritually or physically.

A spiritual practice is your bridge back to the real you and to the real world. Through prayer, meditation, forgiveness, and compassion, you make conscious contact with your spiritual self, your most beautiful self, and hasten the process of your healing. Ask Divine Mind to remove any fear you have of being who you really are.

The more you align with the real you, the real you will make more of your choices. And the real you will always choose love. The choice to eat wisely is not important simply because it leads to an arguably more attractive you; it isn't important simply because it offers the possibility of a smaller dress size; it isn't even important simply because it's healthier. It's important because it's an act of love. It's a way that you feed who you want to be--the healthier you, the more beautiful you, the more comfortable you, the happier you. And what you feed, you will call forth. You are not truly feeding yourself when you eat excessively; in fact, you are withholding sustenance from yourself when you overeat, for in so doing, you are withholding love.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

The Growl Can't Tell Time

Yesterday it was 5:30 p.m. before my stomach growled!!!  I only had that one meal yesterday. Today my stomach growled a little after 10:30 a.m. so I will probably eat twice today. I notice that if I am committed to waiting for the growl and I know I will only be eating once or twice a day I want it to be something really good.

It's so easy to just graze - eating something each time I go through the kitchen. I feel especially virtuous if it's a piece of fruit - we all know we should have 3 - 5 servings a day of fruits and vegetables but that cannot be if we are waiting for a growl before eating. It is easier if we accept there are no bad foods; we can have anything as long as we have waited for the growl. We can use our brains and choose wisely and eat a variety of foods however. Another thing to keep in mind is that fat doesn't make us fat, sugar makes us fat. High blood sugar is the body's signal to store fat. That's why diabetics are often too heavy and have trouble losing weight. Gwen Shamblin did a skit on one of the videos where she had us picture eating chocolate three times a day for a meal. Breakfast was a bowl of M & M's. Lunch was a plate of bite sized candy bars. Supper was more of the same. It did seem sickening.

I have a neighbor who was walking and using the Weight Watchers plan to lose weight. She works at IU East and told me that employees were going to have to pay more for medical insurance based on BMI. I think that is fair. Obesity contributes to so many health problems that are placing a burden on insurance companies. It provided the motivation for her to do something about her weight. I hope she is successful. I was not. I lost my weight twice with Weight Watchers and even lectured a class. The outside can change but if the inside does not, the recidivism rate is very high. I remember one of the clerks in a Weight Watchers class reached her goal weight with a loss of something like 140 lbs. The class had a party and she was the center of attention. It really threw her and she went out and gained it all back and quit Weight Watchers. I felt so bad for her. That's a lot of time, effort, and money to be for nothing. The emotional cost of that is staggering to me; I can understand thoughts of suicide in that case. I remember when I was younger wishing I would get really sick to I would lose weight. I don't know what a class costs now but the last time I went I think it was $8. Enough sadness. God's way is easier and lasts.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Wait for the Growl

I told God this morning that I was going to wait for a growl each time I ate today. It is now after 1 p.m.

This is the most dangerous time for me because I do feel empty, stomach has a tight feeling. I am all alert for that growl because I am back in my quilting room and will probably tear out hunks of carpet getting to the kitchen when my stomach growls. I hope I don't knock over my $800 sewing machine when this occurs.

So I sit and ask myself, "What am I afraid of here?"  "Why am I anxious about it?" If I didn't eat until tomorrow what is the worst thing that could happen? I tend to be the kind of person who wants to just go ahead and get things done and over with (except cleaning house of course). I know I haven't eaten since last night. I know that I am empty so just go ahead and eat so that the way is clear to patch the carpet and set the sewing machine upright.

The problem is that if I don't wait until the growl which is obvious and not open to interpretation, I start eating over any little feeling of emptiness, then it's hard to stop because I wasn't totally empty when I started. It's hard to determine where full is if I wasn't truly hungry when I started eating. I also must be careful not to really load up because then it will seem like forever until my stomach growls again. I have a small plate that I use so that it looks pretty full. I have trouble stopping. Whatever is on my plate I want to finish so it works better for me if I put less on my plate and eat all of it. Stopping at the first sign of satiation is something that is going to be very hard for me to master. Gwen Shamblin says she can quit in the middle of a candy bar and have no desire for the second half. I think she is lying  :-). Have you ever been driving while eating a sandwich you just bought at the drive-through and realize you have some of the paper wrapping in your mouth? That just came to me - has nothing to do with the point I was making.

What is really great about this plan is that you eat what you want. As long as you have waited for the growl, you can have pizza, lasagna, whatever - even dessert. If you overeat, don't beat yourself up - just wait for the growl before eating again.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Is Food Really the Enemy?

We spend an awful lot of time chastising ourselves, making ourselves feel bad about some of the things we do to feel good. Taking a few licks from an ice-cream cone becomes (in our minds) something that we need to apologize and atone for, like adultery. You’ve seen it: people eat something rich or sweet and roll their eyes with a guilty smile as if to say, “Oh, I’m going to have to pay for this outrage.” And then they’ll come up with their penance: “I’m going to have to spend two hours at the gym tomorrow.”
Remember when we’d roll our eyes with pleasure when we tasted something delicious? Now we do it with shame and guilt. It’s nuts. Haven’t we all heard people describe food as sinful, evil, or bad? Out of those three words, at least sinful has the good fortune to go both ways. Our ears perk up when we hear a food described as “sinfully delicious.” Yet we rarely allow ourselves to enjoy something that fills us with delight; instead, we flog ourselves with self-recrimination. Even at a child’s birthday party, it’s not uncommon for the adults to refuse to take a piece of the cake or insist that their slice be so thin that it can barely be seen with an electron microscope. What kind of message are we sending to our kids? There’s something wrong about liking that. That’s just crazy. There’s nothing wrong about enjoying a sweet treat. It’s when we eat the whole cake that we have a problem.
Why did food become the enemy? How did we become so stupid as a civilization that we allowed ourselves to be brainwashed into believing that eating a piece of cake makes us the equivalent of Ted Bundy? It’s a piece of cake, for crying out loud!
Just as we’ve demonized certain items, we’ve also put all food so deep under the microscope that it no longer seems like something we can just naturally enjoy. If the scientific community paid half the attention to crude oil that it does to pizza oil, our cars would be getting 100 miles to the gallon by now. We’re constantly bombarded with studies that tell us which foods can make us healthier and why they should be essential parts of our diets. For example, we’ve been told that eating salmon can help with brain function, raspberries may help reduce cancer, pomegranate juice removes warts, celery makes us hear as well as a dog, and on and on. We’re given all kinds of complex statistics that state that if we eat enough of this or that, we can decrease our chances of getting cancer or heart disease or Alzheimer’s . . . or even of dying an early death. I’ve often wondered, If I were to eat everything that’s suggested in these studies, could it be that I won’t die at all?
Then of course, the studies are often negative—warning us that eating certain foods may increase our chances of contracting a particular disease or illness. We’ve all heard how white flour is the devil incarnate, and carbohydrates could end the human race as we know it. Pasta? Might as well just jump into the grave right now; we’re as good as dead.
I am in awe that my Italian relatives managed to live long enough to finish kindergarten. I know that not a day went by in which my grandmother didn’t have a little pasta at some point, and she fed it to me constantly. If such a thing were possible, she would have given it to me intravenously. And guess what? She died at 93 with all her teeth and faculties, and she never even had to use a walker.
Meat is right up there with criminals on the “most wanted list.” I’m surprised we haven’t created a SWAT team to ambush restaurants like Morton’s Steakhouse and send the patrons away to do hard time for ordering a juicy rib eye. Of course, I’m kidding around a bit here. Is eating a two-pound steak for dinner good for you? Well, probably not unless you’re an Olympic athlete. Plus, you really should pay attention to the level of hormones in the meat products you buy. But is meat something to be vilified and feared? No! The average American consumes about 200 pounds per year. That is what we should fear: the fact that on average, we’re each eating an entire steer. If meat is included in moderate amounts—used as more of a side dish than the massive main element of a meal—it’s absolutely a fine part of a healthy diet and a terrific source of protein.
Loretta LaRoche is a stress-management consultant who advocates humor, optimism, and resiliency as coping mechanisms. She uses her wit and wisdom to help people learn how to take stress and turn it into strength. Visit: www.LorettaLaRoche.com.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

The Real You


There is more to life than the material world. There is a Divine possibility - by seeing that possibility, we can invoke it. Instead of allowing appearances to determine what you think is real, you can decide what you think is real; by doing so, you can cause a change in what you see.

Once you see who you really are, you will permit the real you to come forth.

This is neither theory nor theology. It's neither symbol nor metaphor nor hopeful fantasy. This lesson will be as real in your experience as you choose it to be, and to the extent that it is real for you, its effects will be real in your life. The real you is neither fat nor skinny. The real you is not a body at all, but rather a spirit....an energy..... in the Mind of God. The real you is a being of light, and therefore has no material density. As you align more and more with this truth of your being, this higher reality will permeate all aspects of your life. The more you identify with the light of your being, the lighter you will feel. You will materialize a lighter body when you have a more light-filled mind.

Fear literally weighs you down, but love en-lightens you. Any subject, energy, circumstance, thought, feeling, interpretation, perspective, goal, substance, or relationship that fosters fear in you is something that feeds your compulsion, because compulsion is your fallback position in the presence of fear. The question is:  What are you afraid of?

The first answer that suggests itself is that you are afraid of being even heavier, of never getting your eating under control, of never getting this monkey off your back and so forth. But beneath that fear is an even deeper one. Your deepest fear isn't of being fat; your deepest fear is of being thin. Your deepest fear is of being beautiful.

For many people, compulsive eating is tied to a fear of sex and of being sexy. In particular, the number of women whose excess weight can be almost directly traced to sexual abuse is significant. When I was beautiful, I was molested.   Or, When I was beautiful, I was raped. Or, When I'm beautiful, I don't know how to handle the sexual attention. Such thoughts run rampant through the minds of many who are overweight, men as well as women.

If the idea of being skinny frightens you, there's no point trying to get rid of what your subconscious mind has created as your security blanket. For subconsciously, you will not let it go. There are many ways to hide, and weight is one of them. Some people hide behind a wall of weight as a refuge from the risk of inappropriate or even criminal sexual contact.

If these dark shadows of sexuality lurk behind your fear of being thin, then the way to disperse those shadows is not to deny your sexuality, but to purify it of error. Sometimes that means forgiving someone else, and sometimes it means forgiving yourself.

Certainly feminism has helped empower women, the women's movement has liberated us to actualize more of our human potential, and the modern view of women has helped us right injustices like the subjugation and oppression of females. At the same time, however, there are certain cultural attitudes more endemic to former times that served us well, the absence of which has left us exposed to energies no woman should be exposed to. Freedom and license are two very different words, and the sexual freedom of the 1960's--while in many ways a wonderful form of liberation indeed--carried with it, as most things do, some hidden potential for misuse.

Modesty is not just some old-fashioned we-don't-need-this-anymore value; it is a spiritual energy that dignifies and protects female sexuality from both abuse by men and misuse by women. Casual sex is not just wrong for some moralistic reason; it's wrong because it violates something profound and extraordinary by cheapening its value. "Starting too young" is not just wrong because of societal attitudes; it's wrong because the brain of a young teenager (and certainly those younger than that) is not developed enough, and the personality of that young of a person is not experienced enough, to integrate such a powerful experience in the most meaningful way. We have been left exposed over the last few decades to a hell-posing-as-heaven of sexual license, leaving us feeling not so much liberated as unprotected. Many walls were torn down that we then made subconscious and dysfunctional efforts to build back up. Packing on pounds is one of them.

As your fear is reduced, your body will reduce itself. When you no longer fear the world so much, you will be more comfortable dwelling in it. Dwelling more comfortably in the world, you will begin to dwell more comfortably in your own skin. And dwelling more comfortably in your own skin, you will subconsciously create a more comfortable body.

Note:  This information is from Marianne Williamson's work. She is new age but she makes good points and causes thinking and self-examination.  Take what you can use and leave the rest.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

The Richest Man in the Valley

The Richest Man In The Valley
A rich landowner named Carl often rode around his vast estate so he could congratulate himself on his great wealth. One day while riding around his estate on his favorite horse, he saw Hans, an old tenant farmer. Hans was sitting under a tree when Carl rode by.

Hans said, 'I was just thanking God for my food.'

Carl protested, 'If that is all I had to eat, I wouldn't feel like giving thanks.'

Hans replied, 'God has given me everything I need, and I am thankful for it.'

The old farmer added, 'It is strange you should come by today because I had a dream last night. In my dream a voice told me, 'The richest man in the valley will die tonight.' I don't know what it means, but I thought I ought to tell you.'

Carl snorted, 'Dreams are nonsense,' and galloped away, but he could not forget Hans' words: 'The richest man in the valley will die tonight.' He was obviously the richest man in the valley, so he invited his doctor to his house that evening. Carl told the doctor what Hans had said. After a thorough examination, the doctor told the wealthy landowner, 'Carl, you are as strong and healthy as a horse. There is no way you are going to die tonight.'

Nevertheless, for assurance, the doctor stayed with Carl, and they played cards through the night. The doctor left the next morning and Carl apologized for becoming so upset over the old man's dream. At about nine o'clock, a messenger arrived at Carl's door.

'What is it?' Carl demanded.

The messenger explained, 'It's about old Hans. He died last night in his sleep.'

Author Unknown
This was on my sister's blog. I thought we could contemplate its meaning in our lives. "He is rich enough who wants nothing". Have you ever looked in your cupboards? How much food would you say gets bad and you throw it away each year? How could that money be put to better use? How much money is spent on empty calories? If the cupboards are full of junk and you have a family this could be a battle and would have to be a gradual thing that wasn't noticed too much. You could have a meeting and try to get everyone's support or you could sneak up on them and do this gradually. I have heard the argument that all this fresh fruit, vegetables, etc., are expensive. How expensive is it to be sick? What is the cost of obesity? If we didn't buy that case of pop, those chips, cookies, etc., how much would that save? Keep your receipt from the grocery and take notice of the items that could be left at the store. Make a list and stick to it. Most of us probably drive by a grocery each day and could just get enough for that day. I know a woman who plans her meals for a week and then plans her grocery trip from that. People like that just floor me. Myra won't be doing that but I think I could plan for one day the night before and just get that or make a list and have someone else get it perhaps. If the husband or kids want the junk tell them it would help if you didn't have to pick up that stuff and they can get what they want and keep it somewhere other than the kitchen. To keep me out of it, locked in the trunk and protected with a log chain might work.
I read an article about a woman who decided she was not going to the grocery until her cupboards were cleared out - it was months before she needed that big shopping trip. What if we did that? It is the woman who does most of the shopping. What if you just had someone else pick up what was needed to round out a meal and used up what you already had?  It might be interesting.
Let's be like the richest man in the valley. Thankful. Rely on God. To worry, fret, and be anxious is a sin because we are not trusting God. Have you prayed yet today? Pray before you pick up the paper or turn on the TV and all that stuff floods your mind with the cares and problems of this world.

Monday, December 6, 2010

Eat Out of the Refrigerator

I saw a cute book title - IF YOU ARE GOING TO EAT OUT OF THE REFRIGERATOR, PULL UP A CHAIR. Without having read the book I thought maybe the message was, "sit down, slow down, and enjoy it". Have you ever noticed how fast we eat when we know we shouldn't but are going to go ahead and do so?" Do we just want to get it over with? Are we afraid someone will see us? Since we have already learned that this is doing violence to ourselves, are we really going to be hateful about it?

If we are going to eat, why not enjoy it? Remember the stomach cannot taste; after we swallow no more enjoyment from that bite - so we put another bite in our mouths before our mouth is empty from the previous bite. Have you ever nearly choked because of so much food in your mouth? OK - ASSIGNMENT - this is a pretty easy life change to make - do not put another bite of  food in your mouth until the present bite is gone and you have taken a sip from whatever you are drinking. Slow down - I read somewhere to count 20 chews before swallowing. I hate doing stuff life that. Just take smaller bites and chew slowly or you can count to 20 if you like. I heard a Weigh Down message where the gal said she never ate alone. Someone was there. When we overeat we want to be alone. We open cabinet doors so no one will hear. It is really hard to get cookies or chips out of a bag without making noise - believe me I have tried. Things that you have to unwrap are the worst. I read a book which said to NEVER eat out of a bag. There is no bottom. Take out what you intend to eat on a plate or in a bowl then go eat it. This will slow you down even if you do go back for more. No platters or serving bowls either. To set the tone for the meal even if you are alone, pray first. Set the table for just you and make it more formal. One of the things suggested in Marianne Williamson's book was to buy a new placement and place setting just for you and make it something beautiful. This will help you to make the transition to your true self that wants a new way to live.

Sunday, December 5, 2010


Only the Divine is more powerful than fear, rendering powerless that which has rendered you powerless. Only Divine Mind can restore you to your right mind. Every thought that you yourself can manage your addiction, or get on top of it or make it go away, is a thought that will only lead you in time straight back into your addictive behavior.

That is why the message here is not "Don't think so much about food." The message is "Think more about God." Through a powerful shift in your relationship to God, your relationship to food will begin to shift as well. But turning your life over the Divine is more than a kinda-sorta-sometimes thing. It is a full-throttle willingness to let go of everything--every thought, every pattern, and every desire--that blocks love from entering you and extending through you. It is not enough to just transform some of your thoughts, or even your body. You'll get free, and remain free, only if you are willing to transform your life.

You will now begin to see how problematic situations that have little or nothing to do with food have everything to do with food, if they represent your blocks to love. It's a subtle but very powerful shift from "I turn this situation or that into the hands of God," to, as they say in AA, "I turn my life and will over to the care of God."  Unless your entire life is turned over, and not just your excessive eating, then your compulsion will always find fertile soil in which to grow back.

God is not your judge but your healer. It's not as though He's been unaware of your patterns, or of your suffering. He has simply been waiting for this day, when you would invite Him to enter and to do what only He can do.


Dear God,
My eyes have been opened to the nature of my disease.
I am powerless before food, and I realize that now.
I surrender to You both my pain and my compulsion.
Please do for me what I cannot do for myself.
Dear God, please overpower my false appetites and cast out my fear.
I thank you for Your love, which I know has blessed me.
I thank You for Your blessing, which I know will heal me.
And may my healing dear God, be of use to others in whatever way that You direct.


Saturday, December 4, 2010

Diets Don't Work

How many diet plans have we tried in our lives? Remember the grapefruit diet, Atkins, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Nutri-System, Medi-Fast. The appeal of many diets is that something is unlimited which makes us gluttons perk right up. I can eat (whatever) as much and as often as I want? Sign me up!!! We fall for each new gimmick, pill, machine, supplement, plan, book, etc. When will we ever learn that diets don't work and treating the situation like a cold and we lose the weight and think now I'm over it and can go back to what I was doing before? It is not for lack of information that we suffer. Naturally thin people don't know how many calories are in a cheeseburger and they don't care. They don't know how many calories they burn if they walk for an hour. We know all the stats about food and if we could just get the food to obey we would be fine - rice cakes, artificial sweeteners, fat-free, sugar-free, high fiber, and the list goes on. We feel all virtuous if we work out and use it to justify a bag of chips or all the cookies. The only time I have eaten one cookie is if it was the last one. We have to determine what food and eating does for us and why we choose that over what we truly want. We look with envy at people in nice clothes that look good on them and then we choose to overeat instead of doing what they do. If they miss a meal it's no big deal. Have you ever eaten so you wouldn't get hungry? "We better eat now because we may not be near food when we get hungry." It's almost funny thinking about it but we keep doing it. Remember I am willing to lead a Weigh Down group if any are interested. We need 3 people plus me. You might want to go to their web site and call them to get current prices on class materials.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


Identified with His Death

The gospel of Jesus Christ always forces an issue of will. Do I accept God's verdict on sin in the Cross of Christ? Have I the slightest interest in the death of Jesus? Do I want to be identified with His death, to be killed right out to all interest in sin, in worldliness, in self--to be so identified with Jesus that I am spoilt for everything but Him? The great privilege of discipleship is that I can sign on under His Cross, and that means death to sin. Get alone with Jesus and either tell Him that you do not want sin to die out in you; or else tell Him that at all costs you want to be identified with His death. Immediately you transact in confident faith in what Our Lord did on the Cross, a supernatural identification with His death takes place, and you will know with a knowledge that passes knowledge that your "old man" is crucified with Christ. The proof that your old man is crucified with Christ is the amazing ease with which the life of God in you enables you to obey the voice of Jesus Christ. (Oswald Chambers)

From:  My Utmost Devotional Bible

This seemed appropriate if we believe overeating is idolatry and greed which is a sin. (Ephesians 5:5)

Moving back to your new altar--your altar to the power of love--allow yourself, while sitting before it, to imbibe the3 energies of Spirit. Books, music, letter writing, pictures. . .anything that helps build the thought-forms and feelings of a more beautiful life. Even books about food are fine, as long as they are about wise and healthy eating.

The first three steps of Overeaters Anonymous are applicable here:  that as an addict you must admit that you are powerless before your problem, that only God is powerful enough to restore you to sanity, and that as an addict you must turn your will and life over to the care of God as you understand Him.

It is as though there is a place where you are always rendered powerless, no matter how powerful you might be in other ways. Personally I have pondered why I can get a bachelor's degree, a master's degree, participate in so many things, and yet can't get my eating under control. Coming to terms with the idea that we are addicts is a huge thing, and should be treated with proper respect. Respect for our grief over the pain we have already caused ourselves. Respect for the disappointment we feel at knowing we must abstain from certain substances in order to be free. Respect for the pain we are in now, as we allow ourselves to open to many thoughts and feelings only now beginning to surface.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Resolution Time Is Coming

Tomorrow is December 1 - wow. This is the time when many make the same decision that they have made many, many, many times before. They will begin on New Year's Day and this time they are going to do it. No ifs, ands, or buts (butts?) - couldn't resist. Lying to ourselves once more, this gives us permission somehow to eat ourselves into a stupor. There is always sometime in the future when everything will be perfect and there will be no snags in our dieting journey. How can this lie work every year? It has always been Monday, after the birthday party, or New Year's Day. Why do we do this? Do we want to lose weight or not? What purpose are these extra pounds serving? If we lose the weight, are we afraid more will be expected of us? If we lose the weight, are we afraid we'll gain it back (again) and it's easier to just stay fat?

On any given day when you feel triggered, when you are deeply drawn to the ritualistic dance of self-hatred that is overeating you will have more power to resist if on that day you have already experienced the power of your altar. . .if you have already prayed and given thanks to God. For having already bowed before the power of the Divine, you will be far less tempted to bow before the power of your compulsion to overeat.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Found this on a Blog

“Modern man is a self-certified genius who, having pinned the blue ribbon on his own lapel, proceeds to hand out all other awards, according as the various candidates are more or less like him.” -Hugh W Nibley
Yes we can learn from each other… so long as we approach one another with humility and sincerity. But if we live in our self-made ivory towers we aren’t any good to anyone.
My estimation is neither religion or secular science is the problem here. Guns don‘t kill people and white people aren’t the only racists in the world!
All of the problems we have in the world stem from the human condition known as pride. Religion doesn’t kill people, people kill people! (as long as that religion doesn’t actually teach people to kill, I know that Jesus never told anyone to kill another in his name).
It was prideful men who held the reigns of religion and did unspeakable things during the dark ages and today, but the teachings of Christ never justified killing or harming another.
If you want to play the religion is evil game then let us consider the communistic ATHIESTIC regimes that have murdered a 100 million people in the course of 100 years!
The commonality for most of our problems in the world stem from pride, thievery, lust, aspirations for power and unrighteous dominion over another. Whether it is some clergyman who lived long ago in a stone fortress or a secular Marxist statist today, the problem is in our nature.
It seems to me that whomever is at the reigns of power whether they be religious or secular they end up falling into the same pitfalls that many men in power have fallen into.
Who are the moralists that teach us to do no harm to another?  I can’t speak for the secular humanists, but for me it is the teachings of Christ that compel me to subdue the lusts of the flesh, my pride and ego.
Who among the secular humanists are taking the responsibility to fill the gap they are creating? By purging religion from the public square the impact of moralistic teaching is eroded. It is irresponsible to actively destroy the institution that teaches us morals only to NOT replace that void with something that will do the same job. A society needs morals and standards to have peace and to survive. It is the balance of the universe.


The Altar

Developing your character...

It is something special to be around someone who has real character in all that they do. Below are 10 ways to build your character by adopting a positive attitude in achieving your own level of personal and business success.
1. Do it even if it's difficult.
2. Take responsibility for your choices, your actions and your consequences.
3. Know why you do what you do.
4. Be honest, and be true to your word, both with yourself and with others.
5. Know your strengths, and work from them. Know your weaknesses even better, and avoid feeding into them.
6. Recognize your choices and use them wisely.
7. Develop self-discipline and know how not to overdo it.
8. Develop the ability to luxuriate, know when it's time to stop, and be able to stop.
9. Know the difference between what you want and what you need.
10. Recognize and respect boundaries. Be clear about your own, and give equal value and weight to those of others. 

This was on my sister's blog. I stole it because I like the message. She won't care.  :-) Her blog is 

Let's try tweaking your faith. Believe, even if only for just a moment, that God will work a miracle in your life. Try having faith in that. He will take away your inappropriate and excessive desires for food; He will remove your false appetites and return your body to its natural wisdom; He will restore your life to purpose and joy. There is no spot in the universe that isn't filled, infused, permeated, and lifted up by the Divine. Your Creator can't be left out, except in your thinking. and Wherever He is left out in your thinking, He can't help you. Let Him help you lose weight, and He will.

The work of this lesson is to build an altar to the Divine. You will build a spiritual altar in your heart, and a physical altar in your home.  Fear already has an altar--it's called your kitchen. With this lesson, your assignment is to create a place in your home that will remind you that love, no fear, is the true power in your life. Every time you visit your altar, it will fortify love's power in your mind. And the more love fills your mind, the more miracles will fill your life. The altar should include a surface on which to place beautiful or meaningful objects that remind you of Spirit. Your journal,  pictures, holy books, statues, fresh flowers, sacred objects.

"Love the Lord thy God will all thy heart, with all thy soul, with all thy might" is the first commandment. . .and why? Because it is the key to right living. We should focus on Divine will because if we don't, then our focus will be given over to something else. That something else is neurosis, pathology, compulsion, and fear. In our separation from the thoughts of love, blind to the true Source of our good, we look for love in all the wrong places. That is idolatry. Eating has become a false idol for you.

Just for today wait for the growl, eat only until satisfied, wait for the growl before eating again. Take it one day at a time.

Saturday, November 27, 2010


Well - today's my birthday. I received many birthday wishes. I have not blogged for a few days due to computer problems. We are back up and running so I need to get something going here. I have begun working on some Christmas gifts today.

Spiritually, your wanting to lose weight is not a desire to become less of yourself, but rather a desire to become more of your true self.. You are a being both created by love and at home in love. Your deepest desire is not for food, but for the experience of home. Your deepest desire is not for food, but for love.

As an aside - God is love. I was looking around on the internet for t-shirts and came upon a site that had some awful shirts in my opinion. I have read in a place or two when in a discussion about God that Jesus is an SOB and that Mary is a whore. Reading that evoked a sinking reaction in my gut. Jesus was begotten not conceived. John 3:16 - for God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son---Man was originally created to live eternally in communion with God. Sin changed that. The only way man could be forgiven was by a perfect sacrifice. God cannot look on sin without judging it. There is no man without sin so God had to do it. He took on flesh as Jesus so that He could be the perfect sacrifice. Before Jesus, lambs without blemish were sacrificed as atonement for sin. Jesus is called the lamb of God and after His crucifixion, no more animals were sacrificed. I am learning not to be drawn into arguments where faith is concerned. Those people only want to argue, not learn. They have all their retorts about fairy tales and superstitions. They know very little about scripture. The scrolls of the Bible are on display in the Holy Land. The stories in the Bible have much deeper meanings that must be studied. The books of Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John were written by disciples who were with Jesus during His time on earth. Miracles, the supernatural, and faith are important parts of Christianity. If we teach our kids that their ancestors crawled out of a pool of goop, how can we expect them to value themselves or others? I always wondered if that was true, how and why male and female? If it's just evolution that we have become so advanced does it follow that given enough time turkeys will be able to do math? If we descended from apes, why are there still apes? If there was a big bang what banged? Where did the stuff come from that exploded? Doesn't there have to be something eternal to explain how things began? OK - where was I?

Every moment of unconscious eating is a moment when you are starving from a lack of healthy self-love, and struggling to find it elsewhere. As your connection to love is repaired, you'll be freed from your compulsion to seek love from a source that only dishes out self-hate. It doesn't make you less powerful to acknowledge a Higher Power; it makes you more powerful, because it gives you access to the power of faith.

Faith is an aspect of consciousness; there is no such thing as a faithless person. Right now, you have plenty of faith. . .faith that you'll eat too much, no matter what you do. Faith that you'll never lose the weight and really keep it off. Faith that overeating is your only true friend, even though you know it's anything but your friend. The real question is, do you have more faith in the power of your problem or in the power of a miracle to solve it?

More tomorrow.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Your Miracle

I haven't posted for a couple of days. I bought a car and have been doing all that's necessary with license plates, insurance, title, etc. I had Bible Study Fellowship last night and didn't get home until about 9 p.m.

Now the next suggested activity is building an altar. I am not there yet. The rest of the chapter has good information but I did not do the altar although I will tell you what was suggested.

The course is not so much about your relationship to food as it is about your relationship to your Creator. In healing your relationship to Him, you heal your relationship to yourself; and in healing your relationship to yourself, you heal your relationship to everything.

Our goal is that you have a miracle. By opening your mind to the possibility of a miracle, you pave the way for your experience of one.

It is suggested that you accept this fact:  that you cannot beat this problem by yourself. You cannot stop. You have no control over it. It is bigger than you are. If you could have done this by yourself, you would have done so by now.  Your freedom lies in accepting that which frightens you most:  that you are powerless to stop this problem, to fight it or to fix it. . .your compulsion to eat excessively is stronger than you are. . .you are so tired of this war you have fought against yourself that part of you would rather die than go on.  It's time to surrender the struggle now.

Your salvation in this area lies not in resisting the truth of your powerlessness before food, but rather in accepting it.  Your problem is bigger than you are, then perhaps something else is bigger that it. All your efforts have been for nothing when confronted by the demonic power of your compulsion to eat excessively.  I cannot, but God can!  I cannot, but God can! becomes your mantra. God is big enough to handle your problems - so you need not be.

In order to end your compulsive eating's reign of terror, you need a power that actually moves through your brain, changes your nervous system, changes your patterns and habits, changes your self-image, changes your thoughts about food, changes your thoughts about your body; and a myriad of other physical, emotional, and psychological factors. If you accept the possibility that a miracle could happen--then you permit your mind to experience one. Something you always intuited but were terrified to admit--that of yourself you don't have what it takes to lose your weight and keep it off permanently--becomes a relief. You don't, but God does.

The weight on your body is nothing compared to the weight on your heart.. . .the sadness, the shame, the despair, the weariness. You are carrying burdens you were not meant to carry and do not have to carry.

Perhaps you are someone who feels a need to sabotage yourself when things get too good. Perhaps you've made a subconscious decision that you should allow yourself only  this much success, or this much money, or this much physical beauty or happiness. There is a point past which the subconscious alarm starts blaring, "uh-oh! Too much good! Too much good! Your mustn't go there! Go back!" As in, go back into that limited condition where you belong. Don't you dare break free. If you break through that barrier, all hell will break loose! But in front of that barrier is where hell in fact has already broken loose. It is not enough to control your appetite; true healing involves dissolving the barrier, removing the false thi9nking that has kept you bound. Thee is no way to surrender your weight without surrendering your subconscious belief that you're better off weighing too much. Sometimes we're tempted to cap our good, afraid that what heppens when the cap is removed is too chaotic, too out-of-control a process. All that life energy coming at you is not a threat, but a gift; it's not a curse, but a blessing.

I will finish tomorrow.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Thin You/Not Thin You

It has been a long day. I am on call on weekends and today was kind of busy. This earning a living stuff gets in the way of my activities. I left at 9:30 this morning and got home about 6 p.m.

One of the chapters in the Marianne Williamson book involved getting to know and love the part of you that overeats. There is the you in which your basic identity is mixed with a healed heart and high self-esteem; that's you when you're happy, healthy, and successful. And then there is the you in which your basic identity is mixed with trauma and low self-worth; that's you when you're neurotic, compulsive, addictive, and so forth. What all these parts of you have in common is you. It does feel odd that we should honor a part of ourselves that we do not want, but Not-Thin You will not go away until she is listened to. She will not leave until you love yourself. All of yourself. Including her. Period. Does a parent love a troubled child less than the untroubled child? In accepting Not-Thin You, you are not accepting her weight, you are simply accepting her.

Part of your inner conflict is that while your conscious mind feels a level of disdain for Not-Thin You, your subconscious mind feels quite at home with her. On a subconscious level, you might feel more comfortable within a larger body. There is something you allow yourself when you are manifesting as Not-Thin You. At times she feels more like the "real" you. Consciously, you feel like Thin You is the real you, while Not-Thin You is the imposter; but subconsciously, you feel like Not-Thin You is the real you, and Thin You is the imposter.  You must begin a new relationship with a part of yourself you've kept out of your heart. For in keeping her out of your heart, you've kept her on your body.

The assignment is to write a letter to Not-Thin You. Tell Not-Thin You how much you hate her, how she has ruined your life, what she has done to your life.

As an aside - I did this even though as I said earlier this is a little more New Age that I am. I was surprised at the venom with which I wrote. The example in the book began with "Dear Fat Ass" - I did feel better after I wrote it.  Then you are to write a letter where you write what Thin You would say in return. It really is a helpful exercise.


Dear God,

Please forgive me if I have failed to love every part of Your creation.
Open my eyes that I might see, soften my heart that I might love, open my mind that I might understand every aspect of myself..
Heal my relationship with all of me, that I might suffer no more such violence toward myself.
Please help me, for by myself I cannot win this war.
Please lift me above the battlefield to the peace that lies beyond.
Thank you, God.


Friday, November 19, 2010


It's kind of late - 9 p.m. and I am just now getting to this. It's nice to be looking forward to a couple of days off. Next week is my last week of full-time and I am looking forward to getting back to my quilt club and beginning some exercising. I plan to do some yoga in the morning and then something with weights and aerobics later in the day.  "The Firm" has excellent videos that combine weights with aerobics. Building muscle will raise the basal metabolic rate and you will burn calories faster even when sitting still. Each pound of muscle on your body burns 10 calories per day to maintain itself, each pound of fat burns 2 - 3 calories per day.

Yo-Yo dieting can be a killer of your basal metabolic rate. When we lose weight too quickly our bodies will use some of our muscle tissue. So by dieting too hard, we can lose muscle thereby lowering our muscle mass. THEN when we go berserk because we have starved ourselves and gain the weight back plus some we gain back all fat so now our body composition is more fat than it was. If this cycle is repeated very many times you can see why it becomes more difficult to lose. Our basal metabolic rate is now lower.

And here is another real downer - when we hear a number like an hour of walking burns 350 calories - we think yeah how great am I? We would have burned calories anyway during that hour so the net calorie burn will not be 350 for that hour. So why do it?  It tones us up. It will increase our basal metabolic rate. We have done something besides sitting around. We sleep better. We have more energy. We have strengthened our heart and lungs (they are muscles too).

This is also why we shouldn't weigh I believe. We can tell if our clothes are looser. I know if I get on the scales and I have lost, I think wow I can eat. If I get on the scales and I have lost, I think what's the use I might as well eat. Either way the cue is to eat. We just need to change our lifestyle. My mother stays at a healthy weight. She doesn't eat after 6 p.m. She eats what she wants but eats slowly. She eats small amounts.

As I told you I ate out with my Inspirer. Get this. She said she just had a salad for lunch and was really ready to eat so she orders the meat loaf dinner. It arrives and she says it's too much. She takes about half of it home. I might ever. I remember while I was still teaching one of the natural slims was saying how little time we had for lunch and she didn't have time to eat all of the lunch she brought. I would watch the clock and eat faster if that was my situation. Remember your Inspirer is your teacher. I did take half of my sandwich home.

Remember - wait for the growl, eat what you want and what sounds good, stop when comfortably full. Don't eat again until the growl. Have a great weekend.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Didn't get an entry made yesterday. I went out for dinner with my Inspirer in this journey. What I am reading says each of us needs an Inspirer - this is a person who may never have had a weight problem but understands and supports what you are doing. This person encourages and doesn't judge. This person is your teacher. Food is not an issue with your Inspirer. You have always noticed how this person effortlessly stays at a healthy weight. Each of us also needs a Permitter. This is a person who shares your struggle but hasn't made the decision to do this as you have done. This person doesn't resent you for doing this and wants what is best for you. There is no tension between the two of you - only positive good will. Neither of you feels bad that you may be leaving your Permitter behind as far as weight loss is concerned.

Let's talk about being alone. We are alone when we overeat. Being alone with our compulsion will not end well. We don't want people around when we are binging. This is fear. If we are going to eat a whole bag of anything we want to be alone. A day filled with love will leave no room for fear. When you begin to feel weak or become afraid of slipping up make a phone call either to give love or to talk to someone, send an email, go visit someone but don't sit around and try to fight it - you will lose. Be proactive. Your Inspirer and your Permitter are good choices for some human contact. As you go through your day be more loving to everyone, really care about them and notice their needs.

The goal is still to wait for the growl before eating, then eat what sounds good, and stop when comfortably full. Did anyone watch the Weigh Down video last night? Please let me know what you thought of it.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

The Wall of Protection

Weight can be a physical manifestation of a need to keep others at bay. We build a wall for protection and each brick  means something:  shame, anger, fear, unforgiveness, judgment, disdain, excess responsibility, pressure, exhaustion, burden, stress, heartbreak, injustice, protection, pride, selfishness, jealousy, greed, laziness, separation, dishonesty, arrogance, inferiority, embarrassment, self-abnegation.

The weight we are seeking to let go of was added to our consciousness before it was added to our bodies. When the weight is gone from our consciousness, it will be gone from our physical experience. In asking God to remove the cause, we automatically remove the effect. What is unique about our situation is that for whatever reason, these thoughts or feelings have become frozen within us and are not being processed properly. We are failing to assimilate an experience and let it go. Painful experiences are not meant to linger. They are meant to teach us what they need to teach us, and then dissolve into the realm of soft-focus memory. We have subconsciously tried to get rid of these thoughts and feelings by eating them. If I can't process my sadness, perhaps I can eat my sadness. If I can't process my anger, perhaps I can eat my anger.

There are only two categories of thoughts--those of love and those of fear--and the only way to transcend fear is to replace it with love. As we identify fear thoughts and then surrender them to God, love emerges naturally. When thoughts that lead us to overeat are surrendered, then those that lead us to wholesome eating come forth to take their place. The pain has been pushed into our flesh. Now we are remembering that we can make another choice:  we can look at our pain, and then release it to One in Whose hands it will dissolve forever.

Here is your first assignment. Begin a journal and write out each word that represents a brick in your wall. Do this thoughtfully and don't rush. Look at your darkness so you can see your light.

I am ashamed of  ______________________. Perhaps you acted foolishly, and cringe to think that other people still remember.

I am angry at  ______________________.  Perhaps you feel unfairly treated, and have not released all your anger at the meanness of others. Or perhaps you have not forgiven yourself for self-sabotaging behavior in the past that affects your life now.

I am afraid of  __________________________.  Perhaps you carry a secret fear of loss, of tragedy, and have not yet learned to release it to God.

I haven't forgiven  ________________________.  Perhaps there is someone who betrayed your heart and you have not been able to forgive him or her yet.

I judge  _____________________.  Perhaps you think that others are behaving in ways they shouldn't, and you think and/or speak of them in negative terms.

I feel disdain for  ________________________.  Perhaps there are those who disagree with you, and you hold contempt for their beliefs and actions.

I am responsible for  ________________________.  Perhaps you carry the burden of thinking you're responsible for things that are out of your control.

I feel so pressured about  _______________________.  Perhaps you feel that at home, at work, as a lover, as a friend, as an employee, or as a parent, you're carrying more pressure than you can stand.

I am exhausted because __________________________.  Perhaps you feel physically, mentally, and emotiojnally so tired that you can hardly stand to awaken some days.

I am burdened by  ________________________.  Perhaps you are carrying a pain in your heart that lies heavy upon and weighs you down.

I am stressed by  ___________________________.

My heart is heavy because  _____________________________.

It isn't fair that I  _________________________________.

I feel I need protection from  _________________________________.

I am prideful when  _______________________________.

I am selfish when  _____________________________.

I get jealous when  __________________________________.

I get greedy when  ______________________________.

I am lazy when  ______________________________.

I feel separate from  __________________________________.

I don't feel that I can be honest about  _____________________________.

I am better than  ___________________________________.

I feel not as good as  ______________________________.

I am embarrassed because  __________________________________.

I have built this wall so that others won't hate me for being beautiful and successful and seeming to have it all  __________________________________________.

Dear God,

Please remove the wall that I have built around me.
I have built it so strong, dear God, that I cannot tear it down.
I surrender to You every thought of separation, every feeling of fear, every unforgiving thought.
Please, dear God, take this burden from me forever.


My growl came at about 9:30 a.m. this morning.  I didn't receive any reports. Keep on but don't beat yourself up.